


Beyond control

by bj62



Category: Airwolf
Genre: F/M, this is my first shot in a while and it is a catharsis because it happened to me.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-01-25 02:43:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 53
Words: 43,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12521176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bj62/pseuds/bj62
Summary: Cate is raped and Michael feels impotent.  He wants the relationship to survive.  But how can he confront her demons when she is trying to process it.





	1. aftershock

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Debgirlfan and to women who have to live with the aftereffects of rape](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Debgirlfan+++and+to+women+who+have+to+live+with+the+aftereffects+of+rape).



Michael paced in the waiting room. He could not stop his hands from shaking. Waiting was a bitch. All he wanted to do was to see Cait and find a way to console her. He felt responsible for what happened to her, he should have been there to protect her. He wanted her to know that no matter what happened, he still loved her.

She had been with him as he fought his demons after being captured in Italy. She had held him when he woke, frightened and scared. The dreams had become a distant memory. Now...

He kept berating himself for not being there. He wanted to beat the living shit out of the bastard that forced himself on her. He had forgotten the statistics about how often a woman was raped in a given amount of time. He could not live with the fact that she was now part of that statistic.

He took off his glasses and wiped his eye. The scar from years ago reminded him of how close he had come to losing his life.

"Michael?" she called out.

He went to her side.

"They're finished. Can you take me home?" she asked.

"Cait, can I hold you? How can I help?" he asked. He looked at her at her helplessly and afraid to touch her.

She reached for his hand and stepped off the gurney. She stumbled and the tears fell. He caught her and let her cry as he stroked her hair.

"Cait, I am so sorry I should have been there. That bastard..." he tripped over his words as he held her.

"Michael it happened and there was nothing you could have done. I let him --" she caught her breath.

"No you did not let it happen. You did what you needed to survive. I should have seen the signs, I should have warned you. I was too caught up with work and I knew you could handle whatever came your way. He was a friend from years ago, but I should have remembered how he treated women. He was reckless when I knew him in Nam. Let me take you home." Michael said,

"No, I'm not ready yet. He shut Pearl out of the room because she hissed at him. I froze. I let him do what he wanted... Now to face it... I can't I just can't." she said as she let his arms warm her.

"How can you stand to be with me? I welcomed him into the house... I'll buy another bed because he had to have you there in our room, because of what you mean to me. You should have told me when it happened. How could you share the bed with me after what he did to you? The only thing you did wrong was not tell me."

"Michael he is a friend of yours. I could not destroy that relationship. I could not hide the bruises. Oh Michael, I tried so hard to fight and I wanted so bad to keep the relationship..." she said and felt the tears freshen as she gripped onto him frantically.

"My pretty loving Cait. It was never you. There is something broken in him. I should have seen it. I should have noticed Pearl's reaction and taken measures. I want to make sure that he never does this again. I want to you to press charges."

"No, Michael. It is done. He will do it again and he will face his accusers." she replied.

Michael wondered how many David had done this to and how to make it stop without causing Caitlin more pain.

"But that is just it. Do you think he will acknowledge his actions? Do you think he will see the wrong in what he has done? He told me stories of his conquests. I did not see the signs. It was a different time then. How can you possibly trust me? I am a real judge of character if I let the bastard into my home... into our home? what he did... I want to beat the shit out of him. I want to castrate the son of a bitch. I want to take back the last few days and take away the pain..."

She collapsed in his arms. He lifted her effortlessly and put her in the passenger seat. He never lost contact with her. He saw her fall into an exhaustive sleep as he started the Porsche.

He started to pull out of the parking lot but had no idea where to go.


	2. Chapter 2

While she slept in the seat beside him, he made arrangements for them to stay in the apartment he kept in the city. He was lucky to have staff that could get Pearl and some of her clothes. He ordered roses and asked that they be placed along the hallway of his apartment. By the time he parked the car, she awoke.

He went to her side opened the door and put his arm around her. She was unfamiliar with the surroundings and was surprised as she picked up the bouquets and he walked her toward the door of the apartment. She smiled faintly and leaned into him for a support until he got her through the door.

Pearl greeted her and rubbed against her legs. 

Her tears fell as Michael guided her toward the couch and the flowers fell where they may. Pearl jumped in her lap and Cate leaned into Michael.

Once again he felt impotent. He relished her warmth and stroked her as he held her. What more could he do? His so called 'friend' had taken advantage of their friendship and put Cait through hell. This should have been a joyous time for them, The ring he had kept in his pocket was still in a box waiting...

"Cait why were you so afraid to tell me? How could-" he stopped staying the words that would have added to her blaming herself.

"How could I have let him? Was I that naïve? Michael he coerced me into touching him. He told me how he had saved your life time and again in Nam. He told me about the beautiful women you had shared, that it was a different time then. He said you had compared and shared conquests. When he shut the bedroom door I... I saw the rage in his eyes and I thought if I went along with it. I froze and just wanted it to be over with. Michael I..." she said the last lines in barely a whisper.

"Ca[t, aww fuck I am so sorry. You are not to blame. YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME. But why did you wait a few days? You hid the bruises well. Did you want me to see them? Are you upset with me for taking you to the hospital? " he shook his head in disbelief. This could not be happening. THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING. "I saw him off at the airport. He is now out of the country. I could try and get him back but... I should have seen the signs, I noticed something was different when I got back from the office. Honey, why wait until he left?"

"What he said about you didn't match the man I know. He convinced me that you would believe him over me. He kept goading me with his eyes. Michael he scared the hell out of me and he still does. I swear to you...I SWEAR! He looked at me and said I wanted it. My body was responding and I was scared to fight back. The way he was when you were around was different than when I was alone with him. Michael I let him..." she stumbled over the words and ran from him finding a corner to slump in.

"Cait, Did you say yes?" Michael asked as he knelt before her.

'I didn't say no," she said as the tears flowed freely.

":Cait, would you like to get cleaned up and rest for a few hours? Do you want me to stay?" he said as he lifted her up.

"Michael how can you look at me? I let him... I let him" she said softly.

"Cait you did not DID NOT let this happen. I had no idea what he was capable of and I want to stop him from doing it to someone else. I will honor your wishes, but not for one single second, do I believe that you 'let' him do this." he said vehemently.

"Michael'" she pleaded as she leaned into him.

She had always seen herself as a strong woman. She was tired and could not forgive herself for what she had done. She had been in tough situations before, but this was different. If she could not say no, then what good was she? This man that Michael had trusted, was so different when Michael left the house. Now she knew that she had to face going back to the house she shared and to the bed... The bed that she had shared with two men. Was there a part of that beach house that would not remind her of the duality of the man that Michael had respected?

" I will honor your wishes. But I do want to bring a therapist. I know someone who can help you in ways that I can't. I know it is still fresh, but facing it will help us both." he said as he walked her to the bath and to the bed.

She was tired of talking and just wanted to hide. 

"Do you need some time alone?" 

"I don't know."

"Sweetheart. I wish... I wish... I wish I could have stopped this. You know by now that you can trust me. Right now it is too fresh. Take a shower and let it run as long as you like. Pearl will be your bodyguard and I will get a pizza. Nothing, absolutely nothing can change my love for you." he said as he saw her shut the door. He heard her tears and got down to the task at hand.


	3. aftermath

For the first time in the last few days Caitlin was alone. She was not sure she could handle that. Much as she wanted to find her strength, she was unsure of herself. 

After the examination at the hospital, she really wanted to be clean. There was no way she could tell Michael about his 'friend' David. She could not help but go through what happened in her mind. It wasn't just what he did but how he had played her so that she would remain silent. If Michael had not seen the bruises, she might never have told him.

David had such a casual way of discussing sex while Michael was absent. He made sure she knew of their conquests in Viet Nam. He made it sound as if it were as simple as getting a cup of coffee. He made it sound like Michael was in the room while he was having his way with the girls that were so desperate for food. It came across as Michael waiting for his turn and then comparing notes. David spoke of a scale from one to ten. He belittled her and degraded her when Michael wasn't around. The bruises were from the taps on her body when Michael wasn't looking.

She didn't tell Michael for any number of reasons. The least of which was her shame at having let it happen. Another reason was because David showed a side of Michael she had never seen before. David had convinced her that he was not the man she knew. He was no longer Michael, but some distorted view of Archangel. 

After only a few days of this 'conditioning' she was becoming afraid of the man she loved. She was starting to become afraid of him and unsure. She was afraid of Michael, but more afraid of leaving him. If she left Michael, he would be able to find her with all of his connections. Although he had never physically hurt her, she knew he had many ways of torture.

The love she felt for Michael had grown. Despite their differences, she felt joy being in his presence. When they were alone he had no qualms about touching her. He showed her affection in so many subtle ways. A touch of his hand on her would find her melting into him. She had come to realize that making love and having sex were two different things.

Her body betrayed her out of fear when David took control. The bastard had said he would have her cum eventually. When he took her, he laughed and said that it wasn't so bad. He laughed at how her body responded to his touch. He made light of the fact that she enjoyed his 'love' making. Her body was meant for him to take her. He might even compare notes with Archangel.

She stood in the heat of the shower and felt the scream she was unable to scream when David entered her and continued to batter her body. He told her he was hoping Michael would come through the door...

She let the scream out and slumped to the floor while the hot water sprayed her. she screamed again and brought her hands up to her face. She started to grab and hit her body as she sat there in the darkness. She knew the futility of it. As David had pounded into her body and his hands squeezed her breasts, she knew that no one would hear her scream.

She felt helpless and alone: more alone than she had even when the bomb was attached to her and Michael showed up. He truly was her knight in white armor.

She curled up and cried as the water beat on her body.

The door opened, and she cowered in fear. She looked and she saw the image of David. Was he here again? Did he compare notes with Michael. Did he come back for seconds?

No, oh please dear God, not again....


	4. Chapter 4

By the time Michael went to the car, he knew he was dong the wrong thing. He had never seen her so frail before. Cait managed to keep up a front especially in front of Dom and Hawke. One of the many things he loved about her was her ability to stand up to the 'boys' club as she called it.

He opened the door and heard her scream. He needed to be with her and ran to the bathroom.

she cowered in the corner of the shower. The steam rising up from the spray was distorting her figure. The eyes frightened him. She did not recognize him and she tried to make herself even smaller.

He thought for a moment. He yanked off his tie and jacket while kicking off his shoes as he went to her.

"Cate who do you see? Let me hold you. I promise you, you will never have to see that bastard unless you want to." he said as he held her next to him. Despite the heat of the shower, she was shivering.

"Michael, you are all wet." She said as she clung closer and started to laugh.

He laughed as well picking her up and turned off the shower. He grabbed a few towels and wrapped them around her. He got them out of the bath and proceeded to his king sized bed. 

He was gentle. He covered her up, and placed his wet clothes in the nearby hamper. He knew that the best way to get rid of chills was skin to skin contact. He wanted nothing sexual from her for the time being. She needed to heal.

Love went beyond the sexual and went deeper as it grew.

She nestled against him and for once her hand did not roam. She was still scared and tired. When he first entered the bathroom she could have sworn it was David to hurt her again.

She laughed at his soaked suit, now in the confines of the hamper.

"Cait, what made you scream?" he asked as he moved her closer to him.

"At first, it was the memory of how he took me. The mechanical way he proceeded to force me to cum. The disregard he had for me as a person. He said it wasn't rape if I climaxed. He wanted me to scream out but something inside me would not let it happen. It was about control and how good he was at it.

Michael held her closer still as she continued.

"The things he said, what he made me do. Michael I froze and just reacted. I feel like I betrayed you. The stories he told me about you and him in Nam. They scared the hell out of me because I know what you are< capable of. I screamed and you opened the door and I did not see you I saw him wanting to finish the job." Cait said as she pulled him closer.

:"Honey I am not that man, Nam was a different planet... a different existence. You have changed me and let me have the ability to love; It could be no greater gift. Please believe that. I can be Michael when I am with you." Michael said as he embraced her.

"We have had a hard day. You went through the invasion of the tools they use for rape gathering what evidence they could. You feel so wonderful where you are. Let's rest first and then order some food. If my staff was as efficient as I think, then soup is in the cupboard." he said.

"I can make anything better than that crap they put in the can." she mumbled.

He smiled at her and took off his glasses. Pearl came up and found a spot between the two. Her purr was magic and they nestled under the white comforter; They slept.


	5. what darkness reveals

Cait woke with the presence of a body on top of her. She was afraid to open her eyes. She was afraid to breathe. She told herself that she would never let any man do what that bastard David had done again. Her body turned to ice and she pulled away.

Michael woke with a start and his initial reaction was to pull her close. He had never seen her this way. Her reactions made him want to kill the son of a bitch that was supposedly his friend. He needed to control the rage, He knew it was only his pride that wanted revenge. He took care of his people and he knew that his enemies were many. He never expected it to be one of his friends from years ago. He had an inkling of what the man could do, but he had no idea that his rage would be directed at him. Either one of them could have had the life he did.

He never had any inkling of finding love. The closest he had come was with Maria. In the end, he could not believe that it had happened. He was blinded by a need. During those days of the Cold War, his life was constantly at risk. He knew that there was a part of her that loved him, but she was more dedicated to the cause and he could not see that the cause was stronger than the feelings for him. Thank God for String having his back. They had convinced him that Zeus and the committee were against him.

Cait was a different story. From the moment he met her, he knew she was trouble. As time went by, he knew that the differences should have kept them apart. When they found him in Italy, she was there to see the damage. She didn't shy away at the look of his wounds. She was determined to stay with him and what they shared after his brother's death was sealed with a kiss. He touched his lips and remembered.

To see her like this...in pain that no bandage cover or cure. It fueled his rage. But that was no good for Cait. He took a moment and spoke before he touched her.

"Caitlin, how can I help. Just tell me what to do. Honey you don't deserve this. I wish I had never invited him to stay with us. I wish there were a way that you could have told me. Can you tell me what's going on?" he said softly.

"I won't... I WON'T let him destroy what we have. Michael are you sure you still want me? After After what I let him do? The things he said... Oh please don't let it destroy what we have." she said as the tears came.

"Cait, what he did to you, he did to us. You are a strong woman. You refused to give up on me and fought for us. That took a lot of doing especially with Dom and String thinking that I would only hurt you." He said as he touched her cheek.

She leaned into him with relief and the warmth of her body returned.

"Michael give me time. I promise - " she started to say.

"Cait, if it takes a lifetime. Whatever we need to get through this... It happened to both of us. I need to you KNOW that what he said about me were lies. That shit about comparing notes was a way of coercing you. I could never hurt a woman like that. You are the first woman I have ever truly loved. You would not let go, and now it is my turn." Michael said as he kissed her gently and nestled her body next to him.

He took her hand and kissed it.

"We'll do whatever is right for the both of us. We do it together. Now I need to hold you and keep the demons at bay." He said as he brushed her hair with his fingers. He watched her close her eyes. He wished it were that simple....


	6. Chapter 6

He held her and waited. He knew she was trying to sleep, but he could sense her body reacting to the invasion that his 'friend' had done to her. He was going to give it fifteen more minutes then he would take her out of the bed and not leave her for a second. It took every ounce of strength to just lay near her without taking any action. 

His rage could be controlled. He knew David hurt Caitlin as a way to get to him. He had made it so that there was shame associated with what happened, The bastard had made her body react to his. He had made her cum.

Rape was more of an invasion of the body it was an invasion of the mind. He was angry that she let the charade go on while under his roof. David took over the house while he was gone, but there had to have been some form of manipulation on his part to convince Caitlin to remain silent and reserved.

The way he accepted her reluctance to her advances due to exaustion. Then he saw the bruises she could not hide. He asked her outright.

She could not hide it anymore. She stood there with him looking at him and her and hiding her head in shame. With a tear as he touched each discoloration. Michael sighed as he gently touched her and felt the rage begin to boil.

No words were spoken after she said she had been raped. No words were spoken as he drove her to the hospital. He didn't want to believe that something this heinous had happened to her.

He loved her all the more. He needed her to feel safe and protected. She had become his woman. She would be with him all of his days.

Now she was pretending to sleep until he woke.

He would not stand for it. He got up and went to sit her up. She leaned into him and wept. This time he held her and wept with her. Would the tears never end?


	7. Chapter 7

He sat her back on the bed and let her cry until there were no more tears to be shed.

"Maybe coming here was a bad idea. What do you say if we get out of here and fly to Hawke's cabin" Michael said. He saw the light shine in her eyes. 

"Caitlin, I never thought I could love someone the way I love you. Were you so unsure of us that you could not tell me the truth? Honey did I give you that impression?" He asked.

"He was like the pied piper. He kept saying the things you did in Nam and he repeated them enough that I believed him. He put you in such a different light. People change. He made me question you, and he knew i would not talk to you about it. I am glad you saw the bruises and insisted I be examined, but i never want to go through that again." she said as she gathered her things.

"I will be there every step of the way. I know you are strong enough to face the bastard, but do you know you are strong enough?" He asked.

"Give me a little time. We have to make sleeping arrangements at the cabin. Do you think he will let us share a bed?"

"Who knows what it is with String. If I have to be on my best behavior, and if you want me, whistle. You know how to do that don't you?"

"Put your lips together and blow?" She said smiling.

The laughter lightened the darkened mood and Pearl head butted them both.

The change of scenery would help considerably.


	8. reclaimation

When Michael called to tell String what happened and make arrangements to stay at the cabin a few days, the first thing  
String wanted to do was lash out. He used his anger constructively. He chopped enough wood to keep the cabin warm for at least half a year. He serenaded his eagle with some melancholic music to sooth his soul. He tried to come to terms with what happened to her.

He had met David in Nam and saw something uncomfortable about him from the beginning. He was lucky enough that he could avoid him. He was civil when he saw him at the same functions. He even accepted the friendship that Michael shared with the man. He assumed it was because of their similar backgrounds that they could relate to each other.

He had seen men change from what happened to them in Nam. War did things to a man. Things that no man should see were done in the 'line' of duty. There were things that he  
and others including Michael had seen or sometimes taken part in that could not be forgotten or spoke about.

One of them was rape. It was easy to dismiss by most of them because of the physical differences between Vietnamese and Americans. The desperation of these women throwing themselves at servicemen for food had become part of the landscape. Because of the differences in cultures the offspring, the 'results' of rapes were worse in Nam than in the States. These children weren't really wanted by either side. Rape had almost become a part of the landscape.

Lord knows how many offspring were brought into this world courtesy of David, and others like him. Rape was not about sex but control. 

He cut some more firewood, put David's face in front of him for the exertion. He put the axe by the door and got cleaned up. 

By the time he was finished he heard the rotors of the chopper and looked out the door. Michael was in a pair of jeans and Cait was in a sloppy sweater. She was trying to hide her figure. It was a natural reaction to what she had been through.

String wanted nothing more than to protect her. He was sure Michael was feeling the same way: moreso because David was a close friend. He noticed how he was holding her hand as they walked up to the cabin. When she saw Hawke, she ran into his arms and sighed.

She refused to let the tears fall, she was so tired of crying. When Michael had asked about the bruises, she felt the dam break. He took all that she had to give and them some, shedding some of his own. There was still a part of both of them that was in disbelief. How could this have happened? How much time would it take to heal? This was the first real step.

"Thanks String. I - we needed to get away for a little while." she said softly as she pulled away.

String let her and opened the door to the cabin. He had found some fresh pine and some wildflowers. The wildflowers were in an empty bottle of merlot. 

It was a dam that broke again. She wondered how many more tears she would cry before she would be her 'old' self and there was a part of her that knew she would never be the same.

String went to her as she collapsed on the couch and stopped as he saw the tenderness that Michael showed to the woman he loved. Hawke saw the compassion and for the first time realized how wrong he had been about Michael. String felt like a third wheel and figured he should pour the coffee before he stuck his hands in his pockets.

Michael had given her a hanky and got up to help String.

"Thank you for this, if you want I can sleep on the floor and give Cait the couch." he said trying to be as gracious as possible.

"You owe me a mattress. The cabin is yours until you no longer need it. There is a place that can drop off provisions, but the larder is well stocked. I will stay with Dom. If there is anything you need to get the bastard that did this to Cait..."

"Hawke. regarding David, it is up to her. We need to honor her wishes. Since she told me, she has not wanted to go back the house. The bastard did a number on her. I am - I should have known the kind of man he is, but damn it, i was too busy saving the world. My God, he did it in our bed." Michael whispered.

"The axe is by the door. Cut as much a you want. I'll see you." String said as he picked up a duffle and headed out.

He put his arms around Cait, and let her cry until Michael came over with coffee.

"Cait, if he does anything, let me know. You WILL get through this. If you can put up with Mr. Clean here..." he said and he kissed her forhead. 

He took one last look at his cabin and hiked to where Dom would be waiting.

He now knew first hand that Rape did not just affect the victim, but those around her as well, whether they knew it or not. He had known David, but he had never seen this side of him.

Michael held her until they both slept. In a few hours, he would ask her what to do. He might actually chop some wood. If she had the strength maybe chopping wood would do her good.


	9. tendrils

Hawke was silent on the flight to Santini Air. Dom could just imagine what was going through his friend's head as they were headed back. His instincts were to get back to the cabin with Marella, leave her with Caitlin and find the bastard that had terrified Cait. He knew what rape could do to someone, and did not want that happening to Cait. He was so tempted to slowly turn the chopper around. He knew that String had an uncanny ability to know where he was at all times, and on this he would respect the man's wishes.

The main reason he was not at the cabin waiting with String was because he knew he would break down and hold onto this woman who he had seen in his mind as a girl of ten. He had taken her under his wing when she insisted on believing in Airwolf. He knew she had a father of her own, but he while he was miles away, he felt that he could protect her. He had unofficially adopted her. He knew that she was hurting and he wanted to take her pain away. It was that simple. But it wasn't that simple and he used his anger to get String back in one piece and discuss their options. He would have liked to have Michael with them, but Michael was where he was needed most: with Cait.

He had seen first hand the love Michael had for Cait. Much as part of him blamed Michael for allowing that bastard to have contact with Cait, he knew how some people could get under the radar. Michael was particularly good at this type of deception, and that made him good at what he did. It was this illusion of calm that kept Cait safe when a bomb was strapped to her chest a long time ago. It was this type of illusion that prevented him from giving classified information to his counterpart Mickael. Dom knew that there were others who were good at the charade, but he wondered how much better were they than Michael.

He finally landed at Santini Air and followed Hawke to the hangar."You ready to talk, or to listen?" Dom asked.

"I saw her Dom. I saw her and all I could do was leave her with Michael. Mr. Superspy is really in love with her. He is blaming himself for what happened to her,, and I can't say I blame him. I knew David back in Nam... How could Michael let this happen? Damn it. Dom, we have got to get her back, I want that bastard David hung up by his eyelids!" String said as he kicked a waistbasket.

"I understand where you're coming from String, but there are two things going against.it. One is that the bird flew the coop; that means we need Michael's help. The other thing is that we must honor Cait's wishes. She may not want to press charges." Dom said.

"I have never really known her to be fragile. What that bastard did to her makes my skin crawl. I can only cut so much wood. I kept seeing his face back when we were in Nam..." He shook his head and covered his eyes with those last words.

"You and I are part of wonderful group. We have to sit on our hands until Michael calls us. It may take some time and hopefully Marella will let us know that we don't need the Lady anytime soon." Dom said as he gathered String's gear.

 

 

It was the start of a beautiful sunset and Michael had Cait in his arms. The view was spectacular as was their need for the sounds of the wildlife that surrounded the cabin.

Her tears had dried. She was held by the man she loved and who loved her in return. Now if she could sleep without waking to the sound of David's voice...

Michael held her closer still, he prayed that his presence would give her a sense of peace. He knew it wouldn't be easy, but they would find a way back to each other.


	10. facing demons

Michael and Caitlin held each other while watching the sunset on the spectacular view at Hawke's cabin. He knew too well that she would have trouble sleeping. He had a few over the counter meds that might help her, but that was a duel edged sword. Sleep might bring nightmares, and Cait was as stubborn as he was when it came to taking medication.

She had learned off the master and would take nothing but ibuprofen and cough syrup should the need arise. Her trauma was more emotional than physical. She had told him time and again that one of the reasons she had not told him initially was because she felt that she had betrayed him.

That couldn't be further from the truth. He had no inkling that by bringing in someone he had known for years, she would be in danger. 

They had met during a debriefing in Nam. They were both part of black ops but in different parts of the country. Michael knew how to fly a chopper and his skill at learning languages made him needed in other areas. His occasional partner in crime was David, David Eustain from Montana. 

Whereas Michael grew up surrounded by people, David was small town all the way. He had an accent when he was tired and there was little time to sleep with all the fighting. They had done one or two assignments together and there a point where they shared r and r together. They liked the same type of women, but they never shared notes over conquests.

The lines David fed Cait, made Michael's skin crawl. He was raised differently than that. Although Anthony Shipman was not his real father, he taught him to respect women whoever they were. Michael was four when Anthony married his mother, and Michael was very protective of the her. Although he was still a child, he was the only man in his mother's life for those years. Anthony had taken the time to sit with him and let him know that he was merely going to be part of the family.

Caitlin had met Maddie at Will's funeral, and then later when Maddie had insisted on a visit to her first born. After most of the truth was told to his mother, she shared stories about Michael growing up with Caitlin. While he tried to sleep, he would hear the two of them giggling.

Although they had shared some moments of laughter, it was still too fresh. for Cait to relax with that type of camaraderie. He wanted nothing more than for Cait to sleep in his arms and try to make sense of what happened. He knew that Cait had not had time to tell anyone other than the Airwolf family about what happened with David. It might take months for her to tell her mother, if at all. 

They had stood there until the stars came out.

"Cait" he breathed into her ear.

"Cait would you like me to cook for you? I am sure I could find a steak somewhere." he said as he felt her body smile.

"Are you coddling me?" she asked.

"You deserve it." he said softly.

"Why? Why? Because I withstood a man who violated me and had the skill to make me cum despite my inability to fight him off? My God Michael, he did it in the house we share! In the same bed!! He practically flaunted it in front of you! What you must think of me, to know that I let someone touch me in ways that you do. That I beleved him when he said that you in your younger days treated women with the same disdain as he did! Michael, he... he... Michael!!!" she detached herself from him and ran upstairs into the darkness of String's bedroom. 

She screamed. She cried until she had no voice. She grabbed the coverlet off the bed and hid herself into it.

Michael was at a loss. He went and grabbed a bottle and two glasses. He managed to get up the stairs and found her in a darkened corner of the room. He wormed his way behind her so that her back was against his front.

She was still in the fetal position, but felt the tears slow to a stop.

"Let's forgo dinner and get plastered on this well aged scotch. If you will stop blaming yourself, I will stop blaming myself for letting that no good fucking bastard into the house I had planned to share with you for the rest of my days." Michael said as he stroked her gently and gathered the coverlet around himself as well.

"Michael are you saying? When did you decide... Please tell me it isn't out of pity."

"I have the receipt if you need proof. I was waiting for him to leave. I had already told Maddie that I wanted her to meet your family." he said quietly.

"That fucking bastard, he took you away from me. He made me doubt you. I should have known better. I should have -" she said as she rubbed her eyes.

"Spies" he said intentionally, "Are good at manipulation. Some are better than others. I forgot how good he was, until you told me..." 

"And I claim to be a professional. I missed all the cues. Maybe I did not want to see them. Can you forgive me? I have blinders on when it comes to my friends" he said.

"Michael, he didn't see me. I was afraid and I let - " she said but was interupted.

"Cait, you did what you did to survive. There is no right or wrong to that. I had assumed he had outgrown some of his antics, but I was wrong... I let that... worthless excuse of a human being into my - into our home with open arms. Was I blind in both eyes? What - Cait can you possibly forgive me?" he said as he took his glasses off and looked out in the darkness.

"Michael... Michael he did this to both of us. It is still too fresh, but we have to find a way to forgive each other. If we don't than everything he did, everthing he said...  
it will mean that he wins. I don't want that, do you?" she said as she curled up next to him. She put an arm around his chest and realized the aftereffects.

He pulled her close and realized for the first time just how strong she was. He had brought her to Hawke's cabin to help her, and here she was comforting him. His love for her changed into something stronger.

"I will do whatever you want of me. I know what country David went to and if I can't find him, I have the resources to do so. I will not do it without your consent, but he is too good at what he does for this to be his first time. Do you want it to stop with you?" he asked.

"Michael, can I sleep on it? I am so tired." she said.

"Only if you sleep on me as well. I have missed you. Let me protect you. We both have demons to fight. I don't want this scotch to go to waste."

"Michael I heard String say something about chopping firewood." she said as she smiled.

"In the morning. There is no sense in you cutting your foot off. Rebecca can only save one leg at a time." he said as he lifted her up and set her on the bed. If he was going to buy Hawke a new bed, it would be best to get some use of it.


	11. acquiescence

Michael woke in the stillness of the dark. Having been trained as an intelligence agent, he moved not a muscle. He felt Caitlin against him and continued his slow breathing. He knew she was awake, but wanted to hang on to the moment just a while longer.

He loved the connection that had formed between them. Even apart he could feel her hand on his shoulder or the barest touch of her fingers. He had allowed himself the luxury of falling in love with her, despite the danger.

And this is where it got her. Someone he had trusted had turned the knife into a piercing dagger that went through him and managed to stain his white suit. His muscles tensed and he found himself clenching his teeth as his grip tightened slightly on her shoulder.

"Michael?" she asked softly. She could sense his tension and was trying not to cry. She woke in his arms. In the dream, she was being touched in the most intimate of ways and when she looked for his face it was David leering at her.

Rational thought led her to believe that it was Michael's arm holding her, but there was nothing rational about a nightmare.

"It will take a while for the nightmares to stop. You helped me, remember?" He said as he moved her closer to him.

"Always the spy - intelligence agent. Am I that easy to read?" she asked.

"I make it my business to know your every need. I am just sorry I let a man who i would have seen right through in my younger days destroy a part of your innocence. Was I that tired or that rusty? I can never forgive myself for what he put you through." he said as he felt his muscles tighten. He might very well risk cutting his foot off to get rid of the rage that was aimed mainly at himself.

"Michael, my knight. It happened and much as we would like to see it as a nightmare, it happened. If you had not been so inquisitive, you might never have known. I did not want to put you through that. I wanted to protect you."

Michael ran his fingers through his hair with his free hand and needed to part from her.

"I have seen things, done things - things that I am not proud of... Why would you possibly want to protect me?" he said as he sat up and moved toward the window to watch the dawn.

"Michael, I was so afraid. Oh please Michael, I need you to be that knight. I cannot go through this thinking that you... My God. I let him touch me, I let him convince me that the Michael I had come to love was a fascade. After Italy and seeing you broken... Michael, I let him do this to me. I believed everything he said..."

"Cait, my beautiful beautiful love. It is not your fault. I should have seen it. I should have remembered that a leopard cannot change his spots. We both have our versions of hell to get through. Do you think we can get past this and get to where we were before?" he asked as he pulled her head to his shoulder and wept with one eye.

"We have no choice. If we cannot find our way back to each other, he wins." she said. She wrapped her arms around him and clung to him desperately.

He felt the same desperation. He wanted nothing more than to obliterate the memory of a demon. But he stopped himself. It was too soon, the need was too great.

"Cait, we need help to get past this. We are both scarred from the wolf in sheep's clothing. Much as I want, much as I need this, I cannot... We cannot until we both know we..." he trailed off.

She nodded. He repositioned them and they would lay there. Sleep was a necessity. Michael knew that they would cling to each other and if they were lucky get some rest before the dawn.

He mourned the innocence lost. He mourned the way both of them irrationally blamed them for circumstances beyond their control. 

If they continued this way, the bastard would win. Not only would he destroy Cait, he would annihilate Archangel.


	12. night vigil

Michael lay there in Hawke's bed with the woman who had become his life next to him. He was sure that she knew he would not sleep, and much as she wanted to just listen to his heart beat underneath her ear, the days had taken their toll.

Michael had so badly wanted to be the man that Caitlin had come to love, but the dark ops were gnawing at him. He remembered times where things weren't black and white and he used numerous techniques to get what he needed. Some of those techniques were taught to him by David. Funny but until he met Cait, those questionable ways did not seem all that bad. It was part of the job.

He should have seen the signs, dammit. He should have caught the cues from Caitlin that David was using her. He wondered how he could have missed it. Worse yet, why did David do it in the first place? He knew that David did not always get the promotion, but it never really phased him... or so he thought. Michael always took it as healthy competition, nothing more. Michael could always manage to separate work from down time.

He cherished his down time. He went skiing and found a beautiful woman... He worked hard and he played hard. He was always a physical man and nothing was better than exerting himself to release pent up energy. Then the accident occured.

He was angry because it was taking him so long to heal. Anger made him go overboard. He had been chastised by Rebecca more than once for pushing it. He had been taught patience, but as the time progressed he realized how little time there was. He saw himself getting older, and he knew he could not keep the pace indefinitely. David may have been envious of Michael, but little did he know the pressures of being director. Maybe that was why he was blindsided by David and his manipulation of the situation.

He had seen David over the years, but because of his new position and his stability in his private life, Michael may have unknowingly boasted. Why else would David had done what he did? The numerous scenarios played out over and over again in his mind, while he felt the smoothness of her skin. How could he ever expect her to forgive him , when he could not forgive himself.

 

She knew he was awake. Right now she needed his strength. She fought the tears. She could not keep her body from trembling.

"Michael, what are we going to do?" she asked in a quiet voice.

He stroked her back and touched her with a quiet need.

"Hang on to each other and try to get back to what we lost. We have to forgive ourselves somehow." he said as he let himself actually feel the magic that was her skin. 

He tried once more to really sleep and have the miracle of awakening to the sunrise with her in his arms.


	13. daylight

When Caitlin woke it was after ten in the morning. She felt and heard Michael's heartbeat against her ear. She was glad that he was sleeping and just needed the security of laying next to him. She knew that if she stirred he would wake and she wanted to give him more time. She stopped the tears from flowing by sheer will.

She was so glad that he was taking care of her. David had convinced her that he would not believe her, if she told the truth. She had been so careful to hide the bruises while he stayed at the beach house. When Michael had come back from dropping him off at the airport. he had watched her and found a mark. It was then that she broke down and told him. It was then that he had insisted on going to the emergency room and have her examined. He would have stayed throughout the exam but she needed privacy.

Shame filled her being. How could she have let David do those things to her? How could she have not fought back? Sometimes words hurt more than bruises. David took his time and convinced her that Michael had done unspeakable things in Viet Nam. What was it about David that could lead her to believe that the Michael she knew was not the Michael she had fallen in love with. Yes, shame played a major part in her keeping what that bastard did a secret.

It was only when David was out of the country that she could admit to Michael what happened. She told Michael, but his persona Archangel took over. He became protective of her and was afraid to touch her. She knew that he would want to kill the bastard, but his need to protect her outweighed his need for vengence. 

She needed to reevaluate the situation. She would not let the bastard win. It came down to the love the two of them shared for each other. It was that love that would get them through. 

She could see the pain that Michael was in every time he looked at her. She knew that there were many layers before you got to the man she loved. She had broken down those layers before... 

Now if only she could find that look of trust and love that she knew was still there.

 

Michael lay there hearing her breathing. He knew sbe was awake, but wanted this moment to linger, especially now. He waited for her to do whatever she needed to do. 

David had broken his relationship with Cait, but not beyond repair. Michael could not let that bastard win. David could have many different reasons to do what he did to Cait. Utmost was the fact that Michael had gotten ahead faster than he had. Although they were on different teams so to speak, they were still active in the same circles. Michael knew he had a lot of enemies, but he never in a million years suspected David. David knew too well what would hurt Michael most when he first met Caitlin. He was dead on target.

Whether or not Michael would learn of what his 'friend' did to Caitlin, David had already extracted his revenge for some nonexistant wrong.

The one thing that Michael was afraid of was someone getting to him through her. Had he gotten so rusty that he did not see the signs that in retrospect were so apparent? He kicked himself for not delegating and spending more time with him alone. They were friends through mutual associates. Sure he had heard rumors about his regard or lack thereof to women. The man had never married, but in this profession relationships were a casualty. Taking the oath for God and country was just that. The hours were terrible. 

His relationship was working because he and Caitlin made it work. She understood his trips. It was agreed that there were things he could not tell her. It was not just for security purposes but for her protection. 

Politics was a fickle thing. Things that were considered the norm one year, were unacceptible the next. Michael was glad to have someone to share the skeletons with. He had shared quarters with the man before, so why not let him have the guest bedroom. At worst it would be too soft for him to sleep on.

Now he wanted nothing more than a bed of nails for the bastard to lie on... sharp nails.

He needed to control his rage. He needed for Caitlin to forgive him for letting David under their roof. How could he have been so blind? How could have missed the signs? How could Cait possibly forgive him for leaving her alone with such a man? He could not get going on that firewood.

He wanted to make this moment last. It was just the two of them, no interruptions and maybe a chance to see if what they had will last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please let me know if I am screwing up. This one is personal. Four days before my wedding anniversary I was raped by someone I knew. It is cathartic for me to write this and it is not going the way I planned. Most of my work ends up that way.


	14. reality of day

Much as he wanted to stay in this bed, he knew that they must face the future together.

"Cait, I know you are awake. Sweetheart we can't stay like this forever. We have to continue to talk about this. I know that it happened to you, but it effects us and if - " he started to say but was interrupted.

"Michael I wish you could look at me the way you used to, instead of seeing the blame on your face. I need you to love me as if this never had happened." she said as she tried to draw him closer.

"Cait, what you see is not blame for what happened to you, but guilt and shame at not protecting you. He was a friend from years ago. Was I so blind? Even Pearl had a bad reaction when he came to the house. I brushed it off. I was so obsessed with work and old memories... to have a friend from so long ago... to be blinded by the memories... and now to know... to know what that bastard did to you..." Michael said as he trailed off and turned his head away.

"You knew him from years past. Did you keep track of his exploits?" she asked while repositioning herself so that she could see his face while never losing contact.

"I had kept tabs but not the way I do my own operatives. i was surprised when he called out of the blue. We discussed our exploits in vague terms... two old war horses discussing old battles. He had some down time coming and maybe it was my way of trying to recapture my youth... I didn't see it. I JUST did not see it." he said as he sat up and put his legs over the bed. He held his head in his hands and moaned.

"Michael this happened to BOTH of us. I don't blame you. He mislead me as well, and that is why it happened. He fed me lies... I believed him. He was too good at this not to have done it to others." she said as she leaned into him. Instead of strength, she felt a vunerabilty that she had not sensed in him before.

"Which leads to the inevitable question. I will honor your wishes, but we must get this bastard. Are you up for nailing this fucking son of a bitch? I have all my resources at your disposal. That includes a big bad helicopter to get the bastard." He said smiling and holding her close.

"Michael, since you saw the bruises, since you saw my disintegration. Now that we have talked about it to the point of beating a dead horse. Let's nail him. Let him feel what i did. But I have one more request. If at all possible, let this be quiet. I just don't know how to tell my mother. Can we give it a little more time?" she asked softly.

"You are an incredible woman. The one thing both of us need is time to heal. When was the last time I told you I love you?" He asked.

"A lifetime ago and a lifetime would never be enough to love you." she replied as she looked at him and felt his warmth.

"Gee i wish I had said that. Do you think i will have to replace Hawke's mattress for only one night?"

"I think that Pearl will be glad to go home. We did give Dom little notice." she said with a smile that was long in coming.

Michael shook his head at the image and felt relief flood his being. It was not over by a long shot, but it was a beginning.


	15. going home

Seeing Dominic was harder than she thought. Dom refused to let her out of his sight while glaring at Michael. The first hug was almost to the point of smothering. She wondered how many more tears could she shed. She was tired, bone weary and all she really wanted was to pick up Pearl and go home and forget. But she couldn't forget. That was why they were there to pick up her heroine. When she could not get through the door, and knew Caitlin was in distress, she scratched under the door and did not give up trying while David...  
while David took his time degrading the woman Michael loved.

She saw that expression reappear on Michael's face as Dominic blamed him for what happened. Pearl could tell there was something wrong but was happy nonetheless. She was no longer the kitten, but growing into a longer haired beauty. She was the color of ivory. It was not a pure white but that color of cream. She went to Caitlin and Cait scooped her up and held her close.

Dom grunted at Michael's apology and ushered the three of them out the door. He was relieved to see Cait. She looked none the worse for wear. He knew that time would help heal the wounds. His mind told him that Michael was not to blame. His heart said otherwise. There was a part of him that remembered the promise that Michael could not keep. It would take time to forgive. It may not be something to forget. He wanted to get the bastard that did this to Cait, but knew that was not his call to make. In the meantime, he could rebuild an engine to use his anger constructively and wait for the inevitable phone call. The only thing he knew was the man's name was David. Well he damn well wanted to use something other than a rock to slay the bastard that did this to Cait and other women. The hard thing was waiting. He would pray as well. He would forgive Michael first and pray for Caitlin to survive the torture that was to come. He missed seeing her spunk and her energy.

The bastard that did this, and he was indeed a bastard, worked for the state department. He was in the same field as Michael. Dom had no face or real name to the man that hurt Cait, but he would do whatever needed to make sure that he would not do it again. Michael had given him the news, and Cait was too frail to really see him just yet. He was glad to see her for the first time. He never realized how frail she was. He loved her as if she were his own daughter. She was one of the boys, but loving Michael had changed her. Loving had changed her in a good way. She was more passionate about the causes that were important to her. He knew she would get through this... It would take time and love from all of them. The one thing that disturbed him was Michael saying it was Cait's decision to go after him. 

He wanted the computers at Archangel's disposal to find him, stick him in the middle of nowhere and deploy a stinger at the bastard. He wanted Hawke to do it for God and country. He knew that Michael's was doing whatever Cait wished, but no one... No one should put anyone one through what Cait had been through.

Dominic had found out by the phone call from Michael while Cait was being examined. His impulse was to get String and meet up with Michael to decide what to do next. Instead one of Michael's aides dropped of Pearl. Poor thing did not know what to do. She searched for Michael and Caitlin. The entire time Pearl was at Dom's, she was restless until Cait was there. This cat had a thing for head butts and would not leave Dom alone. When Dom saw Michael in the door way, Pearl bypassed him and went to Cait.

The look on Michael's face said it all. It was the look that Caitlin has mistaken as a condescending look at her for 'letting' the rape happen. She looked into Michael's eyes as he usherd the Cait and Pearl out the door and headed toward the beach house.

The ride was silent as they neared the beach house. Michael was deep in thought over how he could fix the things at hand. He wanted nothing more than to get back to where they were.

Pearl hid inside Cait's shirt until they arrived at the house she shared with Michael. She scurried into the house once Michael opened the door. It took Caitlin a liitle longer to get acclimated. She saw David's face in the usual places. He was showing the leer and the knowing that he had used her body and forced her to do things that would be acceptable with the man she loved, but not with him. She sat on the white sofa and slowly slid back. She started to shake and kept her eyes wide open. Michael watched her every move and waited. He need not ask her, he knew by her reaction that David had touched her while she was on the couch.

"Would you like to talk about it? Do you want someone like Marella? Anything... Any thing i can do to make this work." Michael said softly. 

"Michael, would you touch me in gentle ways? Will you leave your mark on me and take me here in gentleness? Don't force me to cum. i need gentleness." She said with tears in her eyes.

MIchael felt rage mixed with a desire to do what she asked. The thought of reclaiming the house he shared with this woman was something he was sure he could do So if it started here and now, so be it. He need no enhancement to perform his duties. He would be happy if they stayed her for a time. He wandered what kind of acrobatics she would require there.

"I know that look... Michael all I want is to reclaim our home. I want to block out that bastard. I want us to win." she said quietly.

"It will take time, but i am up for the challenge. Cait when did you stop believing him?" he asked.

:"Your look when i told you. The way you have touched me since. Like I am some china doll. I love you Michael. I don't want him to destroy what we have found each other... I love you, the person you've become and continues to evolve. Just give me time. Be patient with me. Please... please forgive me." she said as he held her once more.

She felt his heartbeat. It was steady and strong. She leaned into him and heard a moan. It was what she craved. 

"You have but to ask and if it is within my power..." He said as he leaned down to kiss her lips. There was nothing to forgive... She was here and that was mattered. The kiss intensified, and the need grew.


	16. suspended

Michael had seen the bruises and his anger grew, but now was not the time for anger. It was the time for slowness and a passion that had built between them long ago.

He wanted her to know that she was deeply and truly loved, not just for the touch of her skin, but for the love she had in her heart. He caressed her body in ways that would give them both the quiet need that stirred the pleasure within.

When he had first quenched his desires with that body of hers, it was based on mutual want. The desire to climb that peak as fast as they could and reach that moment of shared bliss.

As their relationship continued, the want lessened and it became more of a mutual desire to reach the peak and linger as the vibrations faded. Michael had never felt this way with any woman before. Yes, he lived up to his reputation of being a ladies man and his persona of a white knight was mainly out of instinct. There would be days when he was working and Caitlin would come to his mind... She was a beautiful distraction that would sometimes lead him to impure thoughts.

Just knowing that she was out there gave him a sense of peace and new meaning to the words God and Country. During these months of sharing a place and sharing a bed, he had felt the want become a need. There were times when it terrified him because he was afraid it could be used against him. This was a case in point and as he touched her body, he felt the fear in within her. He took that moment to stop and let her know that he understood her reaction.

He lay next to her and threw a blanket over them for modesty's sake.

"Cait, it is ok if you want to stop. We don't have to do this." He said with a sadness in his voice.

"Michael, I want this and I need you but that image of David and how... how he made me do those things here and in other parts of the house..." She moaned a soft wail and leaned into him.

"It's ok, it's still to fresh in your mind. I shouldn't have started something i knew we could not finish." he said as he sat up and placed her next to him. "Do you want to press charges? Do you want me to bring him back?" He asked

"Can you dig into his files? There is a part of me that needs to know if he did this to other women. WHY? Did he do it to me because he thought I would keep silent. Did he do it to me to see if I would react differently to you. Can you keep this investigation quiet? Have you spoke with him since he got to where he was going. Maybe we need a ruse to bring him back here and he will think of me as a trained B - " she started to say but his hand was on her mouth.

"He hurt you that much? My God Cait. He took something from me out of a sick sadistic need. I can't let you do this. There has to be another way. I won't let you go through another moment with him." he said as he shook his head.

"Michael unless there is someone out there... There has to be. How many years has he done this? Michael it has to stop now."

"But at what expense. I had no idea the hate he had for me until he used you to hurt me. Will I ever get you back? How can you ever forgive me for letting that bastard in?" he said. 

"Dear sweet Michael, if you had not insisted on having me examined, you may not have known... He loved looking at me knowing I would never tell you, and being afraid of his return. I He manipulated me in that he had to have done this to other women. What I would like to have happen to him, but the law will not permit it. If we can nail him in the act in say some other place, would you like a few moments with him before we turn him over to the authorities? I am from Texas and things like that have happened before?" 

"Are you that cold hearted?" Michael asked.

Cait nodded.

"He took you from me. He convinced me that you were not the man I know at all. I know there is a dark side to you, but -" 

"You've changed me for the better. My instincts are sharp but not as sharp as they should be, but we have survived Italy and Corpus Christie. I can honestly say that you have made my life more than bearable. I never expected to find such... such contentment. There is no such thing as an old intelligence agent's rest home. What David did to you only made me realize my feelings and my need for you. Cait, I cannot lose you to that low life that merely knew how to get your body react the way it did out of physical touch. What we have goes so much deeper than that." He said as he held her close.

"Michael, I..."

"That's why I was going to ask for your hand. Seeing you with him... It made me realize that the risk of losing you was greater than the risk of putting you in danger. So much for timing." He said as he laughed bitterly.

"So where does that leave us?" she asked.

"Finding our way back to what we had? If not I only hope it is something better." he said as he kissed her and streched out their legs on the couch. Holding her would have to do for the time being. Sleep would give them a better perspective. 

If he knew his people, Marella would be keeping tabs on David. Part of him wanted to do some Texas justice. Michael knew of a few devices that would make him,,,


	17. shockwave

Michael felt Cait relax into a well needed sleep. He had been so caught up with the trials of work that he had not paid much attention to her and mistakenly thought that David was giving her some attention that he had not been able to as of late. The new title was supposed to give him more free time and more time to delegate, but because of Zeus and his subversive plots, Michael was still trying to open the Gordian Knot.

He moved not a muscle while Cait held onto him, but he felt the rage and the need to take action grab hold. He was angry. He was angry at himself and how he missed the signs of deception. David hit him where it hurt most. He hit him in a safe place. What's more was the fact that he had invited David to spend the week.

They met in Nam. Michael was working for one set of initials and David another. Because they both worked for black ops, their paths had crossed on more than one occasion. David had saved his life when a mission when information was leaked in the wrong direction. Michael had always assumed that it was an outside source. Now as he replayed the mission over in his mind, he realized the only one who could have betrayed him was...

How could he have been so wrong all these years. Michael had been trained by the best. He could analyze and distance himself to see any problem clearly. It was like chess where you had to see the results of a move a few steps ahead.

His one true blind spot was his loyalty to his friends. He would go that extra mile, he would do what needed be done. Trust was one thing you needed in the intelligence business. Your life depended on it. 

Nam was an entity unto itself. People who went there seldom discussed it. There were so many ways of coping with what was going on. Pot, pills, booze and anything to numb the pain. It was easy to see them as the enemy because of the physical differences. Michael did a lot of things there. He did a lot of things that today would turn his stomach. He saw others do things...

David had a certain way of treating the women. David was into self gratification and the women were more than willing to do any numbet of things to survive. Michael did not think much of it. There were too many other things that occupied his time. On any given day he was scrabbling to make connections. His down time was spent trying to find POWS. He may not have been in the armed forces, but he felt a sense of responsibility to those who were caught and tortured.

It was during this time he met Stringfellow Hawke. Flying choppers gave him athe edge, and knowing Hawke helped him in some of his missions.

David Eustice popped in and out of his life. He followed his career and wondered why he missed a few promotions. He valued David as a friend for saving his life and thought it was a mutual trust.

He was wrong.

Something happened along the way. David was still doing some of the grunt work, hoping for the promotion that never came. 

When David called to thank him on his promotion, Michael offered an open hand. Michael suggested staying at the beach house. He knew that Cait would be a gracious hostess. He hoped he could get away for a couple of days. Unfortunately the best laid plans...

Michael did not see the signs. He thought Cait was just having a hard time adjusting to the company. When he got home, he and David were two old war horses talking in a language Cait did not understand.

Now he lay with her and felt rage and hate. He was afraid to look in the mirror because he would see David staring back. How could he have been so wroing about him? How could David have used the woman he cared about more in the world, and smile as if nothing had happened. What had Michael done? Why did David need to get revenge through Cait?

Then he remembered... He remembered how David treated women in Nam. At first he thought that David did that because of their physical differences. Now he knew he was deceived out of the blind spot that Michael called friendship.

Michael couldn't change the past. He would atone for it. If it took him the rest of his days, he would make it up to this woman beside him.

He had kept the engagement ring and planned on giving it to her. The promise ring he had given her two years before was still there. He was ready to commit.

He was angry because he knew she would interpret it as a way to make peace with her. She was raped and here he was with the ring. Timing...

The rape and the torture had happened and there was a part of him that wanted nothing to do with this house or its contents. Yet the other part of him wanted to reclaim every single thing David had destroyed.

He fought the images of David doing all those things to Caitlin, and forcing feelings from her... David convincing her that Michael was the same type of man. 

Maybe he was at one time, that type of man, but the feelings for Cait had changed him. The way Cait had helped him in Corpus Christie and on the way back from Italy.

Yes, Michael was Archangel, but Archanget was becoming less and less a part of his life. The man who was Michael was more prominent.

Archangel was needed to deal with David. Archangel, who knew more about torture than was written in the manuals.

Michael would take care of Cait. Archangel wanted David all to himself.

Archangel realized that David saving his life was an insurance policey in case there would come a day when he needed that trump card to stay alive...

Cait moved and felt his tension. She knew he hadn't slept. She knew he could live without sleep, but right now she needed the tender side of Michael. Archangel would emerge soon enough.


	18. priorities

"Michael, please help me." she said softly without looking at him.

"Cait, I... I don't know how. I don't know how to make it up to you. I... I feel responsible for this, for what happened to you. There is a part of me that knows I am playing directly into his hands. Even if you hadn't told me, he would know that his plan succeeded and that he was taking away the one thing I care for the most. I need time to think, and I need to plan a way to make him pay for taking you from me." Michael said.

"Have I lost you? This isn't about revenge. It's about reclaiming what we had before he entered our lives. I am afraid of losing you to David and to that dark side of you that has helped you survive all these years. I can feel it in you. Archangel is reemerging and leaving my Michael behind. If only I hadn't told you. Oh Michael, don't leave the man I love behind." she said desperately.

Michael looked at her as she clung to him. There was a part of him that wanted to erase all that had happened this last week. There was a need in him to find David and use any number of ways to torture him the way he had been tortured because of the things he had done. He was hit where it hurt the most. David hurt his beloved Cait and in turn destroyed a part of him that he was not sure he could get back.

He was getting rusty. He should have seen the signs. Had he lost his edge that had kept him alive all these years? Had he been too blind to notice? The cost was too great. Here she was in his arms, able and needing to forgive him for his oversight. But how? How was she able to forgive when he could not find it within him to forgive himself. He held her gently and tried to give comfort, but all he could feel was a sense of self loathing and a rage at the betrayal of a one of the few men he called friend.

"Michael please... Have i betrayed you? Can we get past this? Oh Michael." she said as she wept.

He managed to get past the anger and force himself to become what she needed of him. The thing he wanted and needed most in this world was laying beside him. He kissed her and carried her to the bed they shared. A bed where she was forced to... He ripped the sheets off the bed and laid her down on the comforter he spread out over the mattress.

"Cait tell me what you need of me and I will do my best -" he started to say and found her hand on his lips. He kissed her fingers as she lay beneath him and looked at him with a sense of desire and need.

"MIchael, help me to forget if only for a little while. Help me block out the memory of what that bastard did to me, and let me remember not the first time we shared together but the first time you made love to me in that bed that was so soft and how you touched me." she said as she wept.

Michael wanted nothing more than stop the reason behind the tears, Michael blocked out everything but the feel of her as she took him inside her and moaned slow and low. Their panting led them to a new high. Something that was long and deep. It was almost an eternity. The fire within them nearly consumed them.

It was then that Michael realized that what he and Cait shared could never be touched by the likes of David. There was no text book for what the two of them shared. 

This time he knew that passion. This time he knew the true meaning of making love with someone who he had allowed to enter his heart. Nothing could destroy such a bond, that was formed in the bowels of a ship and grew into something that nothing could touch.

Michael felt the wonderful sense of exhaustion that only came when she was in his arms. Michael felt the wonderful sense of afterglow and trust.

Cait looked at his face, and saw the look of love that had taken him so long to admit long ago. She touched his brow and removed his glasses. 

He sighed and held her closer still. He laughed as he felt the weight shift on the bed and heard the rumble of the cat as she nestled on the two drowsy forms.

As the sky changed hue, the lovers slept.


	19. transformation

Michael woke in his usual way. He felt her body beside him and allowed himself one last time to feel her next to him without moving a muscle. His body tingled where her skin touched his. 

He had lost track of time and could not remember the last time they had eaten. He slipped out from under her and picked up Pearl who was not too happy at the prospect of the cold floor. She followed him into the kitchen where he started to gather things together for a meal. It had been some time since he had cooked for the two of them. He was glad to see the fresh vegetables and chicken. His mind started to work on the next steps he would take while his hands cut the onions and the carrots.

By the time he was done, he knew he would have time to go into his office and see what information Marella had learned about the exact whereabouts of David. He would use his connections and go it alone. He knew String would take care of Caitlin.

This would be their last meal together until he got back from his destination. He almost wanted David to put up a fight. His cane was more than decorative. Inside the wood was a rod of steel. He had used it in Corpus Christie and in Italy. His was glad of his instinct to survive. Despite the injury to his body, in any given moment instinct would take over.

He wanted to inflict pain. He needed control. It would be so easy to kill David. There were things he wanted David to endure but not actually inflict on this man who he once considered his friend. David had taken that from Michael. 

Michael had at one point trusted Zeus until his pet project was taken over by a mad man. Zues, who had tried to convince him to take early retirement. Instead Michael had signed himself out of the hospital and tracked down Stringfellow Hawke. 

Before he had nearly died: before nearly thirty hand picked personnel had lost their lives, he was looking forward to being able to just once take control of the helicopter that flew at impossible speeds.

He had no idea as of yet, as to how to find the man who took away his trust, but he wanted to do it alone. If he would not succeed, he would die in the attempt. He would die knowing that he tried to restore Cait's honor.

He left his office and set the table. He lit the candles and went to wake Caitlin. He had no idea the day they met when Hawke and Dom saved him, that she would be the one who could save him from himself.

She lay there sleeping and so peaceful... He had not the heart to wake her. The desire was subtle this time and he managed to suppress the need.

She stirred and smiled at him as he reached out his hand and took her to where the candles flickered.

"MIchael it's - " he touched her lips with his own and proceeded to serve the chicken.

She followed his lead and smiled. 

He poured the wine and looked at her with a smile that was meant for her alone.

He took the ring with the flawless stone and placed it in her hand.

She was speechless. She knew how he hated tears and wiped them away with her other hand.

"Michael, something is wrong. There is something you are not telling me. Michael please don't shut me out. Please, please my love. It happened and now it is over. There will be times when i may feel the echo, but what we just shared... what we just shared made me realize how much we have to lose." she said.

"Cait, it has nothing to do with you , or with us. It has to end before he does it again. He may not do it in the same way but it should never have gotten this far. I should have seen it. I should have stopped it before it happened." he said quietly as he placed the ring back in the box.

He got up from the table and felt the connection start to break.

"No Michael. I was wrong to want revenge. All I wanted was for you to come back to me. I needed you to understand the fear he placed in me... Michael nothing in this world means more to me than you. He hurt me, but if I lose you too." she said as she went to him.

He stood still with the arms at his side.

Nothing of Michael remained. Archangel stood in his stead.


	20. Archangel

Somewhere deep inside him a man screamed in anguish. That man wanted so desperately to hold her and to shut out the world. He wanted nothing more than to love her and to be loved in return. But something was stopping him. It was a wall that shut down any emotion but rage. It was a wall too high to climb and too deep to dig under. It was a shield that prevented Michael from being hurt. In some ways it protected those around him because it would not let emotion cloud his judgement. It followed codes that were so ingrained they were part of him. It allowed him to see the whole picture and do whatever is necessary to protect those he cared for, and ignore the consequences of what it would do to Michael, the man.

"Cait, I'm sorry. David has to be stopped. He is where there is no extradition and out of reach by any legal means. Marella has made arrangements and I needed this time with you. My life is filled with secrets. Secrets that are so deep within me... This is a part of me that doesn't want you to see that side of me. There is a part of me that wants what we have to remain with you in the bed we just shared...:" he said in a tired voice.

She looked into his eyes and did not recognize the man staring back at her.

"Please understand. He has to be stopped by any means necessary. He was too good at what he did to you, not to have done it to others. He may have done it to you because he wants to be stopped. By letting him in, and by my trusting him, it gave him a way to be stopped. He knew that by hurting you, I would see the pattern... I would see what I should have seen all those years ago in Nam." he added.

"Michael, no. Please! Delegate it to someone else. I need you with me. You are no longer that man who had Jack die in your arms. You are the man who stood by me while a bomb was strapped to my chest. You are the man who withstood so much pain without saying my name because you wanted to protect me. You are Michael, the man who took back the bed, our bed, that was soiled but reclaimed for the both of us. I cannot lose you now. If that happens, he wins." she pleaded.

"Marellla is on her way. She promised me to stay with you. I have a friend who will help you with the mixed emotions. I told her to see you this afternoon. Once i take care of David, i hope we can get back to what we started tonight. Cait, i have to see this through. I cannot let someone else clean this up. He was my friend... One of the few i can count since I became Archangel. The only way I know of to catch him is by leaving the man you love behind and becoming the man they hired all those years ago. It has to be me. No one else knows him the way I do. Please, please understand that it has to be done and it has to be done now. Will you be here when I come back? Can i do what needs to be done and come back to you?"

"I don't know. It was bad enough to have him... have him do those things i cannot speak of, but to lose you?" She said as she shied away. She could no longer look at him. He was no longer the man she loved. 

The man before her was a stranger.

"If i could think of any other way..." he said as he took a step toward her.

The doorbell rang and Michael answered. Marella and Hawke stood there.

Cait ran toward Hawke, He held her tenderly as she wept. 

Michael looked at them and went to get a bag packed.

Even Pearl was unsure of what was going on and she head butted Hawke and Cait.

Michael took one last look at the bed he shared with the woman who had his heart. He walked to where Hawke was standing and touched his shoulder.

"Pleases Cait. Wait for him. I promise to bring him back in one piece. I won't let him do something stupid." he said as he kissed her forehead.

 

"What the hell was that all about?" Cait asked Marella.

"His armor is rusty, but he is still the White Knight." she replied.


	21. two against one

Hawke stood by Airwolf and looked into the face of a stranger. It had been years since he had seen this side of Michael. There was no reading behind the glasses of a man he had considered friend.

Archangel stood before him and handed him the coordinates for their destination. He was no longer dressed in the white suit that was his armor for all these years. He was in old cowboy boots and faded jeans. He had even shaved off his mustache and dyed his hair a dark brown.

All that remained were a pair of dark aviator shades that hid his eyes. He did not want to give himself away. He was known throughout the intelligence community as the man in white with the black cane. It was a poorly kept secret as to who he was and although he was not known throughout the news agencies like the head of the Pentagon, he was easily identifiable as one of the main forces in intelligence.

This power gave him the ability to have the resources at hand to find anyone. 

But looking for the bastard who had done damage to how many helpless women required finesse. He smiled inwardly as he thought that no one would consider Caitlin helpless. David had a found a way to break down the woman he loved. He had to have practiced quite often to get through to Cait and then convince her that she dare not tell Michael.

One of the few people he trusted more than anyone as Archangel was Marella. Once Marella found out about what happened to Cait, she put the wheels in motion. Instead of having her computer do the work, she found agents in the country that David had gone to. When they sent word that he was no longer in the country but had gone by car to a neighboring town, she let Michael know.

Hawke refused to let him go alone. With the exception of various fuel locations, the black helicopter was the fastest and most secretive ways of getting Archangel to his destination.

He flew to a secluded spot and set her down covering her with assorted brush and netting. He took one last look at her and proceeded to walk with Archangel.

"Michael are you sure about this?" he whispered.

"If you think that I am doing this out of revenge, then you don't know me. I would give anything to be with her. I had promised you and Dominic that she was my top priority. I get a call from someone I had known for years and without a second thought let him come to my home..." he said as it trailed off.

"Michael no one is blaming you. He's part of the intelligence community. Hell, he was decorated by a president! She could have been walking down the street and gotten attacked. She knows how to handle herself. If you hadn't noticed the bruises... Michael I have never seen someone as protective of her as you. You have to forgive yourself." he said wanting to put an arm around him.

"I knew him from Nam. I saw how he treated the women there... Times were different then and I was just like the others who did not give it a second thought. How many connections did he have to keep his behavior quiet? Was it in Nam that he learned such ways of manipulation. Did his superiors use his ability to control others as a means of finding out what they needed to know? How much of his information was reliable because of his methods? It took me this long to see the pattern and was I blinded by a friendship that was formed when he saved my life? I have to do this. I won't kill the fucking bastard unless I have to. I wish... I wish so many things. I am aware of my limitations, but there is a part of me that wants a pound or two of flesh." he said as they traveled the terrain in the hours before dawn.

"Michael, we will get through this. I have your back and I am glad you came to your senses by letting me do more than just be a pilot. But get it through that thick skull of yours. I promised Cait I would get you back alive and in one piece. If you think I am going to face that woman without you..." Hawke said with a small grin.

"I want to put down my armor for good. I want to see that ring on her finger. But right now i have to concentrate on a man who convinced me he was a friend. You won't even think of crossing me once I am through with a man who got under my radar..." he said as his face turned to some form of stone.

Hawke knew the look and knew how much rage was behind it. Time was not on David's side. It was counting down and if he felt generous he would let Michael get the first punch.


	22. No illusion

Cait was getting little sleep and kept replaying what happened over and over in her mind. She was glad that Marella was there, but terrified of the man who left her side. Was it only a day ago that they had reclaimed the bed that was taken by a man Michael thought he knew?

The passion she had shared with Michael was unlike any she had ever known. She shared with him the joys of uniting in such a way that she had only read about in trashy romance novels. There was a part of her that did not want it to end. She sensed in him the same feelings. When he held her and she found a wonderfully exhaustive sleep, she was sure she would wake in his arms. Instead, she followed him to a wonderful feast for the eyes and body.

The candlelight softened the edges of the room and surrounded Michael with a light that enhanced his image of her knight in armor.

Making love with him after the horrors of having David use her in ways that she could not imagine was a salve that meant she could get through it as long as they were together.

Seeing him transform into Archangel, frightened her. She could not find a trace of the man she knew, when he left with String. She was afraid, not of him, but of what that man would do to Michael. She had seen Michael shed more and more of his armor as their relationship grew. When, he left, all she saw was an emotionless shell. She was scared that he had become that to find David and confront him for his abuse of women over the years.

Much as she wanted to put it behind her, she knew he was right in facing her attacker. She was afraid because David had belittled her and convinced her that he was stronger than she was. In so short a time, the bastard had convinced her that she wanted what he did to her. He had convinced her that the Michael she loved, was a myth. How else could Michael have been such a successful agent if there was not an edge to him?

She was glad the cat was close by. Even Pearl had not recognized the man who left. Pearl kept close watch on Cait. Her coat was turning into a luscious ivory that complimented her green eyes. Her voice was a squeak and her purr was a force to be reckoned with. Her fondness for head butting those in her favor was becoming well known.

When the animal met David, there was something that gave her pause. Michael brushed off her behavior. He attributed it to David coming back into the states. 

Cait, had heard the cat at the door when David forced himself on her. She knew she had another protector. In some ways, hearing her cry validated what was happening.

Marella was wearing colors other than white and letting Cait rest. She was there to support and be there for Cait until Archangel returned. Michael had requested she stay. Knowing what Caitlin had been through, meant that she was glad someone was there. She saw a frailty in the woman that she had not seen before. The rape had changed her and right now it was too soon to see the effects.

 

"Can you tell me where they are? How is he. I did not know the man that left yesterday. I have never seen that side of him." Cait said as Marella placed a plate of eggs before her.

"They are near the Italian, Slavic border. Archangel is hoping to catch David off guard and wants to interrogate him before he brings him back. He doesn't trust David or himself. He is relying on Hawke to..." Marella trailed off.

"Marella, I know he wanted you to be here, but thank you nonetheless. I'm still in shock. I am glad that Michael got me to talk about it, but I am frightened, not only of what that bastard did to me, but what he did to Michael. He does not trust easy." Cait said.

"You are stronger than you think and as for taking care of you, I think we are more likely taking care of each other. I am just praying for their safe return." she said as she sipped her coffee.

"I want him to come back as Michael to me." Cait said.

Pearl head butted Cait and then began to settle in her lap. She took one last look at Cait and slept. All was almost right in her little world. The cat could feel Cait relax.

Cait was glad to be surrounded by women. This was the hardest part... the waiting.

She knew that Michael would come back to her, but at what cost?


	23. patience

Archangel and Hawke found an abandoned barn that was close to Airwolf. Michael preferred to leave as small a footprint as possible. He wanted David to think he got the upper hand. He wanted David to believe that he had gotten away with hurting him through Cait.

Archangel wanted to work on the assumption that David thought he was free and clear. With the skill he had used to manipulate Cait, Michael had no idea what David would do when he saw him. There was still a trace of the Michael Cait had come to love within him, but he needed to keep it submerged until David was where he wanted him.

He looked back at the time when he was captured and David came to save the day. He realized it was too easy. Had he been a bit more coherent, he would have realized the guards had disappeared. Michael was too valuable a commodity to be left alone. He was captured soon after the mission was started. They knew too much about him. Someone had slipped up. Just when he thought all was lost, David appeared. 

All these years David had never collected on the IOU. 

He knew how David treated the enemy. He used threats on family members to get information. Sometimes it worked. Other times it was an excuse to torture and abuse the enemy. David managed to move up in rank, despite his callous ways. 

Michael found it easier to treat people decently. He knew that on any given day the enemy would become an ally. He knew the history of Viet Nam and how long the fighting had been going on.

Some believed the Viet Cong were that way since the day they were born. If you were battling an enemy so long that it crossed generations, it would be easy to believe that.

There was still a part of Archangel that wanted to believe that David was tired. Why else would he contact Michael? Why else would have done to Cait what he had done to women in Nam? But Michael had one question that he needed the answer to. Why did David do it one of the few friends he had in the world? Why take it out on Michael?

That was why Archangel emerged. Archangel had no qualms about putting the bastard through his paces. Archangel knew a lot when it came to torture and would be able to get the job done.

While Hawke slept, Archangel had surveyed the perimeter. Archangel had made contacts and reconnected with old ones. He found the location. David was sloppy. David did not know the strength Caitlin had in her to fight. David had no idea about Airwolf. David had assumed that Michael's injuries would leave him weak and tired. He had heard through sources about his trials in Italy. David assumed that Michael was no longer on top of his game. Michael was the perfect patsy. That was why David waited long enough to make sure Michael had his guard down. The way he saw it, it was a win win. 

If Cait told, he would be the target. If Cait kept it from him, he had easy prey the next time he called Michael. Cait would be too ashamed, and would remember how he manipulated her. She would come willingly this time in order to save Michael from knowing what a slut she was.

Archangel had caught a glimpse of the bastard that had taken Cait. He was patient. The time was near... Archangel needed very little sleep. He tapped Hawke on the shoulder.


	24. ripples in a stream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains graphic descriptions of a sexual nature.

He had taken her hips and lifted them before he slid his member into her vagina. He had slipped in so easily and was ramming her as he whispered into her ear and laughed. Two more thrusts and he came. As he was climaxing, he called her a 'slut' and told her how good it felt to have her want him doing this to her.

Her mind was screaming in anguish while her mouth said the words he wanted to hear. She felt a sense of shame that came with her body reacting to the physical things he was doing to her on the couch in Michael's living room. It was where Michael had made love to her on more than one occasion. 

She closed her eyes tightly wishing it was Michael instead of a man that Michael had known as friend. But she could not block out the sounds of their bodies, or the noises he made as he shot his cum into her. She wanted nothing more than to wipe him out of her life... She knew he would be dripping out of her.

She felt shame and fear as David took her every time Michael left. No place in the house was sacred. 

The day he forced himself on her while she lay in the bed she shared with Michael was the worst. He need not tie her down. He had coerced her into laying there patiently as he wrapped her hands around his erection. He forced her to look at her handiwork by threatening to tell Michael of what they had done. He threatened her with the knowledge of knowing that she came numerous times and had begged for it.

He knew how to manipulate her body so that her reactions would make her feel the betrayal of Michael. He knew what to say and to do, so that she would respond to him and doubt Michael. As soon as Michael had left them alone for his first meeting at Knightsbridge, he proceeded to stalk her in the home she shared with Michael. She did not know how to react. Michael seldom invited friends over. At first there was disbelief when he made casual touches that became more and more brazen.

She saw the look of conquest when David touched her breast and fondled the nipple. He whispered vulgarities in her ear and dared her to tell Michael. He would tell her of the conquests they shared in Nam. He told her that it was as natural as breathing. He told her he worshipped women and of all the women he shared with Michael, she was by far the prettiest and most willing slut he had laid eyes on.

 

Cait woke on the couch and nearly jumped out of her skin as her memories of David lingered. Pearl was by her side and Marella touched her shoulder gently.

Marella handed her a box of tissues. Cait realized that she had wept in her sleep.

"How can I help?" Marella asked.

Cait realized that the name of her lips was Michael. She wanted nothing more than to be held and forgiven by a man she no longer recognized.

"Why must he do this? I felt the connection, he took me back. He made me his own again. I need him. I NEED him with me. What has he got to prove? When he left, I saw no trace of the man I love. Why is he risking his life? WHY?"  
Caitlin said as she held Pearl close.

"Caitlin, he is doing it for all the other women David took over the years. He is doing it because he cannot let this happen to any other woman. He feels a responsibility because he did not see the pattern, until he saw the bruises on you. He is doing this because this is who he is." Marella said. 

In all the years she had served with Michael, she had seen him this way twice at most. Once when Michael had tried to protect his people when Moffet shot out the complex and saved her life. The second time when he confronted Mikail. Rage was a good emotion when it came to dealing with maniacs the likes of Moffet.

This was different. This was a man Michael had trusted for a long time. It was also someone that Michael had become friends with under difficult circumstances, so he overlooked flaws that would otherwise send up red flags. It took him this long to see the pattern because the bastard had hit too close to home. It was something nearly unspeakable. It made Michael realize he was far from the expert intelligence agent that he thought he was.

It was easy to forgive Caitlin, but to forgive himself?

He had to atone for what David did to God knows how many other women and especially to Caitlin.

Marella knew Michael well enough to know that was the reason. At least she hoped that was the reason. If not, it might destroy the man she had come to respect and admire. She too had seen the glint in his eye and wondered...


	25. hope returns

Archangel went to touch Hawke's shoulder and paused for a moment. The rage and the indifference that led him to this point stopped and he breathed in before he woke his friend.

He opened his eyes and she stood before him, a vision in white with a bare shoulder and the smile that he knew was his alone. He could not remember a time when he had not loved her. He could not remember a time when the want of touching her flesh had become such a need. 

In these hours when he thought all his humanity was lost, she was there. She was there with a gentle touch and with compassionate and loving eyes. There was a sense of forgiveness deep within her that led him to this point. 

As he touched the shoulder of his friend, Michael emerged out of the man that was Archangel. 

He swore he felt her physical presence before waking Hawke.

"There is a difference between who I am and what David has become." he said aloud.

"Michael, did you sleep? You know you are not the man you were back in Nam." Hawke said as he became alert in an instant.

"She... She awakened something in me that I tried to block out. She really did change the man I thought I was." Michael said in a disjointed voice. 

He looked at Hawke and stumbled backwards. Hawke caught him before he fell. He steered him toward a chair and saw the exhaustion take hold. He got him some water and looked into the eyes of his friend.

"What is our next move Michael?" he asked softly.

"I've seen him. I know where he is. We have to get him to Airwolf and back to the states. I want to wait a bit. I want to catch him off guard. I need him to see me as who I am... As who Caitlin made of me, not as Archangel who worked with him all those years ago." Michael said to String as he slumped in the chair.

Hawke was relieved. He saw the side of Michael return that Caitlin knew existed when Michael was unsure of himself. It was that side of Michael that Hawke would follow to the end of his days.

It was that Michael that gave him the edge over bastards like David. Call it a sense of humanity if you will, or a sense of survival in times when Archangel needed it most.

It was a part of Michael that grew out of his love for Cait. Love is a living and breathing thing. It is something that transcends life itself.

String smiled at his friend and saw the man's eyelids droop. He would watch over Michael until the time for action.

Michael opened his eye briefly and a sense of calm overtook his need for revenge. It was this sense of calm that would give him the edge over a man who had honed his skills over women. Michael allowed himself the luxury of rest. He knew that he would act at the right moment and God help David if he try to fight...

He knew he would find David alone, and he knew that he would be able to defeat the bastard he once thought as a friend.

The man would not go out with a bang but with a whisper... A whisper as gentle as the one he used to keep Caitlin quiet.


	26. sensation

Cait woke on the couch. She nearly jumped out of her skin. She swore she saw the Michael she had come to know and love standing there in front of her. He was in a black tuxedo, No jacket and tie draped around his neck. She could see both of his blue eyes and a smile... A smile that was hers alone.

She opened her eyes again and felt Pearl head butting her hand demanding attention. She got up and went about the routines of living. She checked on Marella who had fallen asleep in Michael's chair with the computer monitor still on. She was glad of the company. And much as she wanted to put a blanket over the woman, she knew Marella was armed. You don't startle anyone carrying a gun.

She went to the kitchen and proceeded to feed a very hungry kitten. Pearl had become such a part of their lives in a short time that she had indeed become the owner of the beach house When Michael came back from Knightsbridge, she demanded attention, like that first night when he stumbled over her.

In some ways she and Michael were the picture of domestic bliss. She still went to work for Santini, but she was usually home at a decent hour and prepared meals for the both of them. She was bound and determined to make sure that both Michael and Pearl had at least one good meal a day.

His hours were erratic, but he had reason to come home instead of stay at the office. She would see him enter the door with tie and jacket in hand. His shirt would have the top buttons undone and just a touch of a smile that would widen as he walked through the house that was fast becoming a home.

The only thing that marred the effect was when he had invited David for a visit. After explaining to Cait that he wanted to spend some time with another old war horse, she acquiesced to his request. It was his house, and she thought it might do Michael some good to put some demons behind him.

The atmosphere in the house changed the moment he entered. Pearl hissed and ran off when he crossed the threshold.

David Eustice had a three day growth of beard, tight faded jeans and a white shirt that had seen better days.

Cait could not imagine Michael being friends with someone as unkempt as this man was. She welcomed him with open arms nonetheless. It was that first contact that frightened her to inaction. She told herself that she would not let Michael get wind of the sense of danger.

That was her first mistake that would mushroom into the mess she found herself in when she hid the first bruise.

She saw subtle changes in Michael as well. It was as if he and David had a language all their own. Michael was a stranger when he was around David. 

Cait kept telling herself it would be over in a week. As David kept up with the leers and the abuse when Michael left, Cait wondered if she would have the strength to tell Michael. 

David knew all the right buttons to push. He knew the shame of it all would keep her quiet. He loved the idea of coming back and seeing just how well he had 'trained' her to be his slut.

It was Michael's relentlessness that led her to tell him about David. That led them to have her checked out, and for them both to own up to their misconceptions. It eventually led them to reclaiming the bed they shared. Michael's bed that had become their bed. Reclaiming it was a sign of them coming back to each other.

Or so she thought... Until he walked away from her and out the door with Hawke.

The waiting was agonizing. She could not help but think of where he was, what he was doing. Although she needed him here beside her, she understood his reason for taking action.

Michael was right when he recognized a pattern that he should have seen before...

Much as she never wanted to set eyes on the bastard again, it had to stop. And if it meant confronting him, so be it.

When Cait woke with that image of Michael coming toward her, she knew in her heart that the Michael she loved would come back to her. She knew that the humanity that was there all along was returning, and that he would return. She just prayed it would be in one piece.

So she started to go around the kitchen, and would start cooking. She needed to keep busy until he walked through that door and to her.

She promised herself...


	27. past transgressions

Hawke woke in an instant. He had grown accustomed to being on alert whenever the occasion warranted it. His hearing was better than average and had saved his life as well as others in more than one instance. He took one look at Michael and despite the glasses, read the man's face without Michael needing to say a word.

"You found him. Did he see you?" Hawke asked softly.

"He wasn't looking for me. My disguise did not give me away. Not even with this clean shaven mug. I miss my mustache. It better be worth it to catch the bastard. We leave in little under an hour. He will be at the fresh air market and there are only two ways to get there in and out. If you get him first, let me have first dibs." Michael said with a leer.

"Why should you have all the fun? It's my job to get us out of here and back home. What do you want to do before we get him to Knightsbridge? We could have engine trouble. There's no telling what will happen to him before we officially hand him over to the authorities." String said as he stashed his weapons in his boots and pockets.

"Do we have to decide now? I want the luxury of seeing how much of a fight he has in him. We know what he can do with women... I wonder when was the last time he had to fight someone his own size. I may be a bit broken and rusty but I won't use that to my advantage. I still think he did it because he was tired. Either he wanted me to catch him or he underestimated my abilities. He knows my injuries, maybe he thought I was easy prey. The one who paid the price in no way shape or form deserved it." Michael said bitterly.

"I promised her I would bring you back. Don't make me break that promise." Hawke said as he stood by the door. He was glad that he saw a glimmer of the man who had that spark back in him. The rage of Archangel was still present, but the part that was Michael was starting to show once more. He breathed a sigh of relief. He had remembered Archangel of years past. There was that needed edge, but what made him different was the spark of humanity. Some of his prisoners deserved it, others were no better than the dirt off his shoe.

Men like that did not know what compassion was. They saw a division of ranks between all classes. They had the gall to think of themselves superior, when they were far from it.

He had seen too much of that in Nam. He was glad that Michael was not one of them, though he was treated as such and he could play the role with the best of them. He saved more lives than he took.

He made sure that he memorized Michael's new appearance. He smiled inwardly as he thought of Michael kissing Caitlin without the fur. He would be a new man...

Michael left the barn and started blending in with the landscape. Hawke watched until he could no longer see him. He waited a bit longer and followed making his way to the designated landmark. He stay within ten feet of it when he saw David negotiating for some tomatoes.

He waited...


	28. old warhorses

David loved the freedom of being a free agent. Much as he envied what Archangel had, there was something to being able to leave at a moment's notice. Europe gave him the freedom of traveling by any mode of transportation and with no mementos, he could always buy what he needed. His superiors knew where he was, and could easily keep tabs on him. He had a knack for blending into the wood work. Changing his identity was as easy as changing suits. He had numerous aliases at his fingertips. The one he was using today was particularly satisfying.

He loved the old mixing with the new and the open air markets that were unlike any in the states. He always had his radar up whenever he was in venues such as this. Nothing was causing his alarm to go off as he was haggling with the vendor on the price of tomatoes. He was about to make his purchase when he felt someone pinching his elbow. Before he had a chance to react, he felt the pressure of a muzzle in the small of his back.

He knew one of his attackers, but the other was a too much of a question mark to take the risk of trying to escape.

As they lead him to the exit, he was patted down for weapons which were disposed of in the nearby bushes.

"I see the slut has told you. But seriously Michael, why keep such a delightful piece of ass to yourself? You shouldn't be so greedy." David said as he was being steered to the nearest exit.

He felt the gun dig deeper into his back and heard the bolt slip back. It would take just a whisper of pressure to pull the trigger.

Michael ignored the comment and went deeper into the persona of Archangel. It was as if no time had elapsed since he was working black ops in Viet Nam and now. There was nothing left of the friendship that Michael had known. He was angry at himself for having not seen it sooner. He was angry at the illusion David had nurtured all these years.

One question still nagged at Archangel. Why did David feel the need to try and destroy him?

Archangel and Hawke led David to a secluded spot where Michael proceeded to get the eye drops out of his pocket and place two into each eye of the man he once thought of as friend.

David was on the lookout for some means of escape and realized that Archangel had taken away his sight. He got up and tried to run, but someone tripped him and he landed in wet mud. Before he had a chance to wipe himself off, he felt the gun go back into him and the pinch of the elbow. It was tighter now as he was steered forward.

He heard a door open, and was shoved into a small compartment. He was placed into a seat, and his ankles and wrists were t\shackled to a seat.

No words were spoken between Hawke and Michael. The checklist was done in silence as they left David in the back with the mud drying on his skin.

David was disoriented and angry. He knew that he was being taken back to the states. He assumed that they would transfer him from a helicopter to a ship or plane. That gave him plenty of time to devise some sort of plan. He waited.

Archangel nodded in agreement as the helicoptor lifted up from its hiding place. Hawke looked over at Archangel and was afraid for his friend as he heard silence from the back.

Michael was tired, but knew he would not sleep until he was with Caitlin. There was a part of him that knew it would be so easy to kill David. If he did, he knew that he would not only lose the woman he loved, but the last piece of humanity he had within himself. 

He was still angry over not having seen it sooner. How could he have missed all the signs? The cost of his mistake was Caitlin. It was far too high a price.

He needed to see this through to some form of satisfying conclusion. The options played in his mind. He thought of everything from castration to leaving him in a room with the women he had attacked and their respective counterparts. He wanted it to be slow and methodical.

He wished he would have thought about tripping David in the mud. He had convinced himself that he was not worth the effort of hitting. He knew his moment would come. All he needed was a gust of wind...

Then he thought of David using Caitlin. He could see him pushing the buttons and felt his resolve harden. He thought of all the other faceless women that David had used and destroyed. 

He watched as Hawke steered the Lady into the east. He watched the monitors and knew this was far from over.


	29. transistion

Hawke missed the banter he shared with Dominic, but knew this was no time for brevity. He looked at Michael, and remembered when they first met. This entire mission reminded him of the past.

There were numerous groups in Nam. The war was not well liked in the states and was fought differently than in any of the great wars. He saw things there that he could never speak of. Even now, he thought of the times he closed his eyes to what he saw.

Michael stood out from the others. He was a stickler for the white scarf around his neck, and an ability to blend into the crowd when necessary. There was a confidence about him that gave you the strength to follow him. He had seen him do things he would ask other mento do, without question. That was the sign of a leader.

Black ops suited Michael. Despite his stature, he could blend into the landscape.

When the war was over, Michael searched him out and recruited him for special assignments. 

When they had a falling out, he thought that was the last he would see of him. He was wrong.

Archangel had his connections and knew he was the only man for the job.

Hawke flew with tears in his eyes as he remembered Gabrielle. He remembered his anger at Michael for sending this woman he loved into the lion's den. He had come to realize that it was not by choice. He knew that Michael did not believe him when he lied about her suffering.

Michael knew far too well how Moffet operated. It was by sheer force of will that Michael went to ask Hawke for help. Anyone else would have stayed in the hospital. Michael was there, with no pain meds to fog his mind. Anyone could see the pain in his eye from what Moffet did to him that day when Marella nearly died.

Hawke was still tempted to open the back hatch and tilt Airwolf long enough for David to take a swim in the ocean. Whatever wait for him back in the states was too good for him. The Firm may have had different ways of dealing with him, but even they were bound by rules that required a sense of civility.

What David did to Caitlin... Hawke wanted five minutes alone with the man. Not even that. Knowing how he felt, he knew that Archangel could think of even more ways to hurt the man who had violated the only woman he loved in such a way...

He knew that Michael would be harder on himself than anyone. He blamed himself for not having seen it. For every conceivable blow he wanted to inflict on the man that nearly destroyed his life, the blows would fall harder on himself for letting it happen.

That was why this flight back to the states was long and quiet. Hawke knew that after what David had said about Caitlin, he was concentrating and using everything he had to keep his distance.

Michael watched as the sun slowly rose in the sky. Michael was barely there, but Archangel was there watching over his friend and the man who had betrayed him.

In a few hours they would be at Knightsbridge and the cell would not be big enough for the both of them. Archangel knew things about torure that no books dare print. Archangel had no qualms about using those techniques. But men like David were immune to torture.

Archangel would not waist his time knowing that. He remembered something about the man that gave him an edge. David was claustrophobic. 

Temporarily blinding him, would instill more fear than any beatings. The flight was over seven hours. Still not a peep. David was waiting until they landed. He would make his move then. 

Archangel smiled inwardly at what waited for the bastard. 

Just a few more hours. Just a few more hours and then he could take off his armor and be with Cait...


	30. stirred echoes

Michael was afraid to speak on the long trip home. What little David had said since his capture, left a bad taste in his mouth. He did not want to give the man the satisfaction that he was getting to him.

He wanted everything to be done by the book. He remembered times back in Viet Nam when David did questionable things and he put a blind eye to them. He told himself it was for the sake of getting the information, it was for the sake of saving lives. Had his acquiescence led to the other women David had used over the years? It wasn't just him who looked the other way. His superiors wanted results and did not care how they were attained.

Viet Nam was breeding ground for such behavior. 

Michael remembered the first time he saw a five year old shot before his eyes. The boy had a hand grenade behind his back and was going to pull the pin... He never slept without a loaded gun within reach after that. He knew how to hide weapons so that if he were frisked, they would not be detected. Wearing layers had its advantages.

You needed to know who to trust. You needed to make sure your contacts weren't working both sides. You made sure the soldiers you worked with were reliable.

He met Hawke during a skirmish and learned that he could fly anything with wings. He learned that Hawke was chasing after his brother and wanted to help keep the boys together.

SinJin was a leader in every sense of the word. He knew how to take charge of a situation and had many of the same values as Michael. Given the choice of having a subordinate do any given task, or himself, he would oftimes do it. Even if it meant digging a latrine. There was something special about him. He remembered when the two brothers were together.

String usually followed his brother's lead and when they were together almost anything was possible. That included an impromptu game of touch football using whatever was on hand as the ball.

He remembered when they were on a rescue mission and SinJin stayed behind. He insisted that his brother get on that last chopper. He could still see String fighting to stay behind. It was an image he would not soon forget.

String's sense of hope nearly died on that day when he left his brother behind. He started to become a recluse. He worked for Dominic Santini to help pay the bills, but was more comfortable in his cabin. There he had the solitude and time to play his cello. The only company he really needed was his dog and an eagle.

Short wave radio kept him in contact with Dom. String did what he could to keep the search for his brother alive. He could not give up on his brother. As long as there was breath in his body, there was hope.

Finding the man in exchange of having use of Airwolf was a small price to pay. Michael had made arrangements through his own personal financing to continue to look for him, should anything happen to him. He owed String that much.

Michael knew that Hawke took this mission because of what David did to Caitlin more than a personal favor to Michael. 

He would have gone alone if need be. He was glad of the company and if anything, he began to realize he was not as young as he used to be. Despite his best efforts, the injuries were taking their toll.

In the cramped space of Airwolf, his left leg was protesting. It might hurt for Michael, but Archangel ignored the pain. 

He was closer to their captive. His ears were in tune for any noise. He was surprised that David was being so compliant. In Archangel's eyes that made him even more dangerous. He was glad that it was going so well, but that raised his hackles all the more.

In a few more hours, they would be at Knightsbridge. There David would be contained and monitored. He needed a few hours of sleep. Lack of sleep led to mistakes. He would not trust just anyone. He hand picked his people... like when the complex was destroyed and he lost his eye.

His mind went back to Caitlin. He shut down his mind as to what David forced her to do, and remembered the image that had gotten him through Italy. The white dress and his not saying her name.

It was a name he hoped never to hear from the mouth of the man shackled behind him. It was a name and a face that he hoped would say the words...

Only a few more hours until...


	31. undoing the past

Marella watched Caitlin as she slept with Pearl in her lap. She had tried to stay awake through the night, and like Caitlin, felt the need for sleep.

When Marella woke the computer was flashing that the search had been completed. When she looked at the data, she knew she had the ammunition needed so that Caitlin no longer need be a part of the equation. She knew that Michael could go back to being who Caitlin needed to be...

Marella did not like waking this woman who had become her friend and had transformed Archangel into more of a suit of armor that Michael Coldsmith Briggs III wore when warranted. She wanted nothing more than to undo the past.

Sometimes the hardest part of her job was collating data. When she started gathering the numbers of those women that David had hurt, and these were only the ones who had come forward in some way. She knew it the number of those he hurt were greater than she expected.

Behind each face was a name and a story of torture. 

Archangel would be able to look at the numbers with a cold eye. But Michael who loved Caitlin, would find it incomprehensible.

Marella tapped Caitlin on the shoulder. 

It was time they were headed to Knightsbridge, There they would meet the Lady and the man who had shamed Caitlin to silence.

Cait was startled. She had been in the throes of a nightmare. Michael stood before her with blood on his white shirt. David lay next to him, He had been beaten to a pulp. Caitlin did not know the man before her... Marella woke before she could decide if their love could survive.

 

Michael knew that in less than an hour they would touch down at Knightsbridge. He would be around familiar places and the comfort of his office. He would see the familiar people who would do a double take at the man who usually wore white and walked with a cane.

He was weary... Things he had seen and done for God and country weighed heavily on his mind and heart. He wanted nothing more than to erase the images. He wanted nothing more than to erase them from his mind. He wanted to go back and report David that first time he put a blind eye to his actions.

He looked behind him at the man who was asleep in the shackled seat, and fought to keep the bile from reaching his throat.

He saw the familiar landmarks that signified home. He wanted nothing more stretch his leg and see his staff remove the bastard from his sight. He wanted nothing more than to sleep for a good twelve hours straight. He wanted to lay down his armor. He wanted to see if Caitlin would be there waiting for him.


	32. what lies beneath

By the time the Lady touched down at Knightsbridge, Michael and Hawke smelled the stench of urine from their captive. Despite his lack of vision, he was smiling. He acted as if he had just sat through a movie. With the exception of the wet spot, he was well rested and ready for part two. He was a willing combatant. Michael was surprised that there was no resistance. His subordinates took David to the bowels of Knightsbridge. Michael would deal with him personally in a few hours. 

Michael had seen better days. He hated to admit it but he needed help from String to get out of the Lady. His left leg was wreaking havoc and would not cooperate. His persona of Archangel had taken its toll. Knowing String and Marella, they should have contacted Dr. Rebecca Moore not only for David, but for him as well. 

He had managed to pull more than an all nighter. He had managed to stay awake since seeing the bruises on Caitlin. He may have had a catnap once or twice, but he was going on pure adrenalin. Much as he was concerned with their prisoner, he had one thing he needed to do.

He had tunnel vision as he walked toward the building. The limp was more pronounced as he made it to the door.

He was still in Archangel mode. He opened the door and looked up while trying to straighten the leg. He had no idea what would greet him, as he went toward his office. He cursed the leg as he regretted not leaving a cane nearby for support. His frown deepened as he looked for a familiar face. 

No one bothered looking at him as they went about their work. All was as it should be. If they noticed, they said nothing. It was hard not to notice his appearance. It was hard not to notice the man in white was not in white. It was hard not to notice the exhaustion on his face, or the stubble but lack of mustache. But he had the air of Archangel. He still had the stature that demanded the respect of someone who commanded the auspices of the FIrm. He had that stature no matter what he wore, how he appeared or how he walked.

As he made his way to his office, he had a sense of pride in these people. He was grateful that laying beside a desk was a black cane for him to grab before he made it to the corridor that led to the office that held a view many would envy.

He hesitated before entering the door. He was tired as he used the combination lock to enter his office. He had yet to say a word since before they left Italian airspace. He managed to get over the threshold and slumped against the door. It shut with a thud as he leaned heavily, and sighed. His eyes adjusted to the darkness. He searched for her.

She sat in the corner of the sofa.

He felt a surge of adrenalin. She looked at him to see any of the signs that would give her the answer she needed.

She reached out her hand.

He knelt before her and his head collapsed in her lap. With what strength he had, he wept.

She stroked his hair and waited until the tears stopped. 

He managed to get his body on the couch and touched her arm. With his head still in her lap, he slept.


	33. reemergence

Michael woke in his office as the sun was beginning to rise. His head was in her lap. She was asleep with her head against the edge of the cushion.

He woke in the usual manner. The only thing that would have given him away, was his eye movement.

Despite the long trip and needing more sleep, he felt refreshed and like the man who had been transformed by the love a good woman.

He needed to touch her so that he knew she was real, but she looked so peaceful in sleep.

She stirred. She felt the heaviness of his head in her lap and smiled. The man who left was a stranger. The man who came back was the her knight in shining armor. His appearance had changed, but nothing could alter the love he acknowledged in his heart..

 

"Are you real?" she asked.

"As real as you need me to be." he said recalling his trials of Italy. 

He touched her face lightly and slowly sat up. He pulled her next to him and elevated his legs. 

She placed her head against his chest. She heard the slow and steady rhythm of his heart. It was the most reassuring sound she ever heard. How often had she slept with her head on his chest? How afraid has she become when she was used by David. She had been ashamed and afraid of losing him. Now he was here and she wanted nothing more than to go home and be together. She wanted nothing more that the quiet and the love of Michael. 

Everywhere they connected was alive with the pleasure of having her in his arms. There was no longer a trace of Archangel here on this sofa. It was a man and a woman. It was this man and this woman. Nothing could touch or separate them. He wanted it to last, but he knew their time was short. He had no idea how much time had elapsed, but he watched as the sun rose and knew it was time to deal with the man who was hidden in the deep recesses of Knightsbridge. All he wanted was a little more time before he put on his armor.

He had no strength to look at the file Marella had amassed and left sitting on his desk. He had no desire to turn on the lights and face the starkness of reality. He wanted nothing more than to feel her with him. He had no compelling urge to learn that he was right all those years ago. He was right and put a blind eye to what David did because his superiors needed what he could give, and what he had to offer.

But it was too high a price to pay. It was too high a price to pay from the first time to the last... Caitlin.

Who was the bigger bastard? Was it David and his superiors who let him loose? Or was it Michael for putting a blind eye to the behavior because it did not directly concern him...until now.

He remembered something about defending your fellow man. It was a poem about the Holocaust. They came for others and I did nothing... until they came for me and there was no one left to speak out.

He pulled himself away from her and watched the sunrise for a few moments longer.

He went to the desk and sat heavily. He had the weight of the world on his shoulders. He turned on the small desk lamp, and let it shine on the folder. He opened it and saw the first page. The responsibility sank in.

He looked at Cait who was waiting for him.

He felt disgust and loathing as he read the pages. In his mind he saw David, and staring back at him was an image of himself. 

How could he have let it happen? How could he have put a blind eye to all those women? Was it worth the price? Was it the price that was the cost of his soul?


	34. transformation

Before he had asked Caitlin to move in with him, he had been spending most of his time at Knightsbridge. Rank had its privileges. Off to the side of the floor where his office was located was an executive bathroom, complete with change of clothes and shower. 

Next to seeing Caitlin in his office, the best medicine was the feel of the hot shower and the force of the jets, washed his body and spirit. He forgot how good a shower could feel and the only thing that would be better was if a certain woman would enter and wash his back. Alas, he was in Knightsbridge and even with his connections he could not risk the whispers of his staff. He had connections that would possibly permit it, but he knew the temptation was too great.

He would have to bide his time. Once he got home and could take off the mantle of Archangel, he planned on having at least one uninterrupted day with the woman he loved. Clothing would be optional. He might even hide certain pieces so that he would feast his eyes. But that was Michael.

Now he had to transform into her knight. He sat on the commode and started the ritual. By the time he stood up and looked in the mirror, the face looking back at him was somewhat unrecognizable. He put on his white tie and knotted it without thinking. Next came the vest and the jacket. The last piece was the cane.

The cane had the silver head of a wolf and the staff gave the illusion of solid wood. The core of steel lay hidden beneath. In some ways it was a lot like him. Archangel gave an appearance of strength, but no one knew the strength he possessed. 

Before Caitlin, he thought all he needed was strength. Although never in the military, he was a good soldier. He followed orders for the most part without question. He knew that in order to have a free country, some things that were not pleasant had to be done. Things were done in order to keep the country strong and to keep the peace. Men like Archangel were needed to do the dirty work. 

He looked in the mirror one last time, and for a moment saw David's face instead of his own. 

David, who had probably done more covert operations. David who was too tarnished to be a figurehead. Michael's suit was white, but he was far from innocent. It had taken him a long time to become the man in the suit.

Wearing white had come naturally to him. Even in Vietnam, he had allowed himself the luxury of a white scarf. It was in honor of his mother. She had given it to him to keep him safe. 

People believed in luck and this was the one thing he could keep with him. He kept it to this day. It was practically threadbare by now, but it was something he treasured.

He put it in his pocket and prepared to walk down the corridors.

He opened the door and saw things come to a standstill. Although his hair was darker and his face was clean shaven, he was still the boss and deserved respect.

He was a sight to behold. The clean face gave him a more youthful appearance. If it weren't for the glasses, he would have hardly been recognizable. As he started to walk down the aisle, he wanted to glare at them and ask what everyone was staring at.

Caitlin and Marella stood near the other door and watched Michael slowly make his way. As he passed the desks, he saw his people resume their tasks and barely hidden smiles. By the time he got to where Caitlin stood, there was a smattering of applause.

He shook his head and made a gesture to silence them.

He wanted to take Caitlin in his arms and kiss her, but dressed as Archangel, he needed to keep their relationship on the up and up. He was tempted to say something, but he knew his people understood.

Many of them did not envy his task.

How many more like David were out there? How many had blurred the line and done unspeakable horrors in the name of God and country?

When did David think he was immune to punishment? Michael wondered if that was why he was being so compliant. 

Although very few knew of the mission to retrieve David, Michael knew that he still had connections. Something didn't feel right. He needed to know what it was and he needed to know now.

He nodded to Marella to take Cait back to the office. He knew String would be waiting for him before he would interrogate David. He was sure that String had the same feeling.

He nodded once more, String ushered him in to the tiny room.

David was sitting in the same clothes he had worn when he was captured. He smiled at Michael.

All the white in the world would not put Archangel back together again, once he saw that leer.

Michael sat down wearily and looked into the eyes of his former friend, took a deep breath and got up to walk away.

David touched his jacket and laughed.


	35. retribution

It was the laughter that did Archangel in. Without thinking and almost on pure instinct his right fist swung behind and hit David full force in the face.

Michael knew David regained his eyesight and hit the man's left eye with a force that could easily cause blindness. Michael pulled back the punch at the last second. He turned around and found the man kneeling as he held his head, but still managing a smile. 

He controlled his rage and walked out the door. As soon as he shut the door, he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He clenched and unclenched his fists.

"Did you see what happened?" he asked String.

"Archangel you did what you had to do." String said using the title intentionally.

"Someone is pulling the strings and it isn't him. That bastard wanted to get caught. He wanted me to catch him, and now he is practically throwing it in my face that he is untouchable. Zeus has been out of the picture for some time, so who could it be? Who else knows we captured him?" Michael asked.

"It was not a well guarded secret. The only thing that was kept hush was the use of the Lady. Did Marella's file give you any more information?" Hawke asked.

"He has a longer list than I expected. Women from all over the world. Wherever the government sent him, he left a woman behind. Marella was very thorough. He honed his skill on other women before he got to Cait. Hawke I am sure that he wanted to get caught by subjecting Cait to his will. If Cait had kept it secret, he would have had one over me. Because I learned the truth, he won because he had shamed her. Either way..."

"Michael, it happened and she told you. That inhuman excuse for a human being wanted to hurt you. He did a damn good job of it. I was glad to see you come back, not Archangel. Michael maybe you should not be the one interrogating him. Maybe it should be Caitlin..." Hawke said.

"NO! She has been through enough. I won't let her near that bastard. There has to be some other way. Have Rebecca assess the damage. I want to go home. Can you stay until I get back?" he said as he undid his tie.

String nodded and phoned Dr. Rebecca Moore while Michael walked down the corridor.

 

Cait opened the door to the beach house and breathed in the air. Pearl was glad to have them back, and mewed until she got the attention she deserved.

Michael grabbed Cait and kissed her. The kiss was gentle at first but became more intense. 

She yielded to the pressure and wanted more. He took hold of her, and led her to the bedroom they shared. He left a trail of clothing in their wake.

He needed her more than words and he wanted to obliterate any traces of a man he wanted to forget.

Their passion increased until the initial moment of bliss lingered. 

He wanted nothing more than to hold her and to sleep with his arms around her waist and his hands...

He slept, but his mind would not let him alone.

He was used to nightmares but this one was different. 

She stood there nude and with moistened lips. Her arms reached out and he started to walk toward her. They were just about to touch when he saw David leering at her.

He heard David calling out to her and calling her his little slut.

He saw Cait get on her knees and... 

He woke in a cold sweat with his arms wrapped around her. He touched her face to make sure she was real. He repositioned himself so that he was on his back and she had her head on his chest; listening to his heart beat.

He watched her sleep and waited for the sun to rise...

He did not care who David's benefactor was. He was going to make the bastard pay for his destruction. He had no excuse including God and country for what he had done. It was time to pay for his deeds, even if it was only Michael and Hawk who would make sure he would pay. It was not for God and country. It was for justice.


	36. in sync

She felt him readjust her in his arms. She had never felt so comforted yet frightened in her life.

Exhaustion took over wrapped in the arms of sleep. But even in dreams she could not escape. The dream turned into a nightmare.

It started with the bomb around her chest and Michael dressed in white. As the bomb ticked down, Michael stayed. He kept eye contact and the look of calm, helped to steady her heart beat. It prevented her from screaming.

When the bomb was disarmed, he held her in his arms, as the beat of her heart slowed to his rhythym. She clung to him. He was a man of flesh and blood and stayed with her, even at risk of his own life. He stayed.

Michael held her until Dominic and String showed up. They were more comforting. They were more real and relatable than Archangel.

Up to the point where she collapsed in his arms, she had never seen Michael as flesh and blood. She had never seen him as a compassionate person. He had come back to make sure she was all right. After the others had left, he needed the peace of mind to see her in one piece.

There in the early hours before dawn, she felt a connection. The initial connection was intense and it spiraled into something neither of them had expected. It had changed from having sex to making love. Neither of them had expected the feelings to deepen into love.

Asking her to stay at his beach house was risky, but the alternative was unthinkable. She needed it too. She knew he needed to shed the layers that made him Archangel. He needed to be the man known as Michael. He needed her.

He was afraid of having her there because of the risk he put her through, but he found that she was better than any shrink at Knightsbridge and that it gave him some breathing space. He could concentrate on the work because he could decompress when he hit the beach house.

Things were going well, and Michael did his best to protect her. He had said time and time again that there were things he could not tell her, things that he was ashamed of or might put her at risk, but as the new head of The Firm, he could delegate tasks.

Men like David Eustice seemed harmless. He was a black ops in Nam and had saved Michael's life. There was no reason not to trust him. Michael thought he put his questionable ways to the side.

Viet Nam was a lifetime ago, so why shouldn't he let him stay a few days? Surely they could get together and talk about old times. Surely he would be able to get some time away and delegate a few tasks.

But the best laid plans of mice and men. 

Caitlin noticed something odd from the moment he entered the beach house. Cait noticed Pearl hissing at him that first day. She saw him looking at her... undressing her with his eyes. She questioned it, until she was alone with him. It was subtle at first but grew bolder. His hand was on her thigh when Michael wasn't looking

He knew what buttons to push as he would talk about the conquests and competitions. 

Caitlin knew Michael had a dark past, but she did not want to hear the things that David spoke of when Michael was at Knightsbridge. She did not know how to react and his advances were becoming more and more frequent.

The day came where he took her to Michael's bedroom and exposed himself, telling her that they had shared some women. Pearl showed her claws and David pushed her out with his foot and shut the door.

She froze as he undressed her and touched her. He knew what spots to touch and her body reacted physically to his knowing fingers and limbs.

By the time he entered her, she wanted to weep while he told her to moan and beg for it. Her mind froze while her body did as he commanded. Shame came next. 

He knew that she would never tell Michael that she had wanted him... to make her cum. He knew what things to do and to say to keep her silent.

It was here in this bed that Caitlin felt she had betrayed Michael. It was here in this bed that Michael had reclaimed their love and need for each other. He held her close as she drifted off to sleep.

But it was here that she was tormented by a man she need not face again. It was here that she dreamed of David playing her body and him wanting her to call his name as he entered her willing body but unwilling mind.

"David."


	37. flash backs

Michael woke to the sound of the bastard's name on her lips. 

He held her closer still without moving a muscle. He knew better than anyone that the only cure for what happened was time and understanding. No matter how much it hurt, they had a long road to travel. Both of them were feeling guilt over what happened. She felt guilt over what her body felt when someone else forced himself... He felt guilt over not having reported the things he saw years ago...

"Oh Michael." she said as she realized whose name she spoke. She tried to pull away, but his arms refused to yield. It took only a moment to lean into him. She wept into his chest and he stroked her head and back. He fought his own tears and controlled the anger. He wanted to be what she needed.  
For the time being they lay there with the only sound of her sobs.

"Please Cait, you have to believe that nothing that happened was your fault. I've known David for a long time. I've seen things that he has done and put a blind eye to it. I should have remembered... I should have told you what he was like. I should have realized he..." Michael said as he turned to lay her closer still.

"Michael how do we get past this. How do we get back to what we had?" she asked as lifted her face from his chest. She wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of his arms, the feel of his chest, the touch of his lips...

"Honey, he has been doing this for a long time. Someone has had the clout to protect him. He's too cocky to be doing this alone. He sits in that cell at Knightsbridge and has no guilt. He struts around like a peacock. He dares me to sink to his level and much as I want to beat him to a pulp for what he did to you and those other women... I don't want to stoop to his level. Someone has been protecting him for all these years. Someone has used him to get information and let him use women like they were cattle. Why you? Why did David use you to get to me?" Michael said in frustration.

"You read the file. Marella collated the data. Was there something or someone you missed? There has to be some trail to his benefactor. There has to be something in that file that you missed. Michael you didn't get the title of Archangel for not being thorough. You need to read the file again. You need to see David... Maybe I should see him -" she started to say.

"NO. I don't want you to see him! You have been through enough. Let me do this for you. I can't imagine what would have happened if you hadn't told me. If you would have had to face him again, after what he did to you..." Michael said.

He buried his face where her neck meets her shoulder and inhaled her scent. It was as if he was gaining the strength he needed. It took all he had to separate himself from her. He walked to the shower and started the water as he heard her go to the kitchen...

Clean and dressed in his suit of white, he was grateful for the coffee and the toast. He felt Pearl head butt his hand, and gave her attention absently while looking at Cait in the white silk robe. For a moment he could forget.

He reached into his pocket for a piece of paper. He scribbled a name on it. He slid it across the table.

"Here is the name of someone who can help you... who can help us. I met her a few years back." he said as he looked into her eyes. 

"I need to get back. I am running out of time and I want to go over the file one more time before I see him again. Make arrangements to see her here if you can... I promise to come back. I need to come back to you. I love you, and it's my fault... I put a blind eye to him for so long... how many others have been hurt because I have been silent?" he said as he got up from the table.

"Michael whoever is pulling the strings... surely he knew you were aware of his behavior. He has more power than you... He has managed to protect him all these years and relied on you and others to keep silent. What will he do knowing that you are keeping him here at Knightsbridge? Oh Michael, be careful. I'm afraid..." she said as she went to him.

He wanted to hold her for an eternity. He wanted nothing more than to take her then and there and block out the world. But he knew time was of the essence. He knew that time was running out and he had to find David's benefactor before that man found him.

He wished he had never met David: never trusted him: never let him get close...


	38. unexpected company

Michael could easily have asked for a limo to pick him up, but there was something almost Zen like as he drove to Knightsbridge. He wondered how life had gotten more complicated since having Cait play such a significant role in his life. He remembered a time before the accident that cost him his eye and nearly cost him his leg.

He liked to think of himself as handsome and would need the occasional dalliance. All he had to do was go to a bar and wait. Women were fascinated by the white suit. The mustache could hide the occasional smile. He kept a to go bag in his trunk if it lasted longer than expected... He did not want a permanent relationship. He knew he was better off alone. He could not risk putting those he cared for in danger. Like any head of state, he was a target. Although the Firm was not a well known part of the government, it was still known in international circles. He was usually associated with it, and had become synonymous with organization.

He respected the women he worked with and rarely went to the same bar twice. The dalliances were few and far between. When asked about his profession, he would usually tell the truth and not be believed. He was dedicated to the work. The Cold War was still going strong. He was slowly getting out of doing field work, and learning the art of negotiation. Disguises could only work for so long. He was a natural leader. His staff respected him because he would not ask them to do any task he was not willing to do himself.

Airwolf changed all that. Moffet nearly destroyed him. For a time all that he had left was anger. Then she walked into his life. She was there when Hawke helped him escape got him out of Germany. She was there when he when back and confronted Maria... She was there when Hawke confronted another pilot and another Airfwolf. She was there more times that he could count.

The day she had a bomb attached to her, he was there and did not leave. That night started it all. That night when he let her have control. It was not fight or flight, it was flight or ... He was a willing participant and told her in the days that followed, that he was a bastard.

Then there was his rescue in Italy. 

She had become his knight in shining armor. There on the bed they now shared, they said it at the same time. He took the risk because he could not live without taking the risk.

Now all his fears were brought to the forefront. Because he allowed her to get close, she was raped and humiliated. The bastard did it because he could. The bastard did it because this was the most harmful way he could hurt Archangel.

The way David was acting was like a man without fear of the consequences. Someone else had to be pulling the strings. Michael needed to know who that someone was. In the meantime, he was glad that no such thing as Miranda applied when it came to detaining suspects under the auspices of the Firm.

By rights, all he could do was keep David for at most, a few more days. He did not want there to be any reason for him not to be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, simply because of his desire for revenge. If the international cases could be proved, then there was even more reason to make sure thinks were done by the book.

By the time he started walking down the corridors, he felt more and more like Archangel and could be more objective than a man in love... A man in love with a woman scorned. 

Once again, his staff barely acknowledged him as he walked past. He was glad of the efficiency. Should something happen to him, the agency would continue. Despite the turmoil of the last few months, despite the abuse of power by Zeus and others... Archangel had managed to keep the Firm intact. Its reputation was still as clean as his white suit. It was kept that way in part by the integrity of the man who ran it.

He went to his office to watch the sunrise in the dark. He needed solitude to plan his next move. He needed to have a plan before facing David once more. He needed the persona of Archangel to deal with the likes of David.

He opened the door to his office and didn't bother with the lights. In the dim light, he went to sit in his chair. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"How is he Rebecca?" he asked as he stared out the window.

 

"Physically, he is a nearly perfect specimen. Mentally? Well how could you call a man like that sane? He's honed his skills since Nam. I am not surprised he has managed to slip through the fingers of law enforcement. He has someone who is protecting him. Any idea who?" She asked.

"I have been going through it in my mind. I have an idea. I should not have put a blind eye to it. He should have been locked away long ago. I could have stopped it. I could have stopped it before it went this far..." Michael said.

"Michael you are human. He saved your life. It was a different time then. You know that psychopaths can fly under the radar. Hell, they function better than average human beings. I have one question you have to answer to yourself. If Caitlin hadn't been one of his victims, would you have caught him?" Dr. Moore asked.

"I keep thinking he wanted to get caught. He wanted me to catch him, and this was the only way to get my attention. Could it be that he is tired? There has to be a reason as to why he got away with it all these years. Maybe the only way he can relate to women is by manipulating them. Someone has been protecting him. By the way is my lock that obvious?"

"I know your history. It wasn't that difficult to see you used Gabrielle's birthday as your combination. You have a martyr complex. How is Cait? You both need to work through this. I am looking forward to being part of the wedding party." she said as she got up to leave.

They were mesmerized by the sunrise. It was the start of another day... Another day to atone for past mistakes.


	39. face to face

Hawke knew he was one of the few men that Michael trusted: especially after this. He was glad that they got the bastard back to Knightsbridge in one piece. 

Eustice was cocky even now. Someone had been protecting him all these years, and Hawke did not know him well enough to put all the pieces together. In some ways he was grateful for that. When he saw Michael's fist lashing out against David, he smiled and took his time to assess the damage. He heard no crack of bone, but saw the swelling and the smile on the bastard's face.

Hawke longed for a bed and sleep. He would be there for however long it took. He would be there for Cait, and he would be there for Michael. He knew how deep a betrayal it was when trust was broken. Men that he had trusted with his life had done it once too often.

Even the friendship between him and Michael was strained after Michael took him off Airwolf. It caused a rift that he thought would not be mended. Initially he had no sympathy for the man when he saw him hobbling into his cabin. He had taken it personally when Michael had dismissed him. He had mistakenly thought Michael trusted Moffat more than he trusted him.

That was all in the past and now he had learned to trust Archangel with his life. That was why he offered to take Michael to where David was laying low. That was why he had risked life and limb to get Michael out of situations where he needed a cooler head than his own.

Trusting him with Cait was a different story, but he realized that love was a rarity in their lifestyle. Despite the circumstances they were now in, he knew that Michael would give anything to undo what happened to her. He wanted... he wanted it to be over and for all of them to be...

Michael disrupted his thoughts by bringing in two cups of coffee and a plate of donuts.

"I know that you are a fan of granola, but this is the best I could come up with." he said as he placed it on the desk and sat down.

"Rebecca said that I did not do much damage. I shouldn't have pulled the punch." Michael said as he sipped the coffee.

"Any idea who is pulling the strings? It has to be someone... someone you know. He has been at this a long time. Whoever it is had to have known him since Nam or earlier." Hawke said.

"How is she? You didn't bring her with you did you?" Hawke added.

"I am surprised she told me. The examination was hard on her, but I needed to make sure she was o.k. physically. I am amazed he didn't put up a fight. His cockiness surprizes me. He wanted to get caught, and if she wouldn't have told me, he would have gone on as if nothing had happened. Why? Why in the hell did he do it? He did it in the bed we shared and any number of places. He did it to other women... I saw the file... Was I so blind? How could she possibly forgive me? I let this happen..." Michael said as he covered his eyes with his hand.

"It wasn't your fault. It was timing. Michael much as I am angry, it's him I blame. How many women has he done it to? You said he did it in Viet Nam. His superiors put a blind eye to it. You knew it was happening but that it was commonplace..." String said.

"There were a lot of things that were done at that time... Things that I am not proud of, things that were done and people looked the other way. I thought... I thought that when the war ended and we got back to the states... I lost track of him. I just assumed that Nam was a different world and let it go at that. We both stayed in intelligence work, but we didn't run in the same circles. He saved my life, and I assumed that his beliefs were like mine. After seeing the file that Marella made... But that still does not answer the question." Michael said and shook his head.

Michael got up and took on the persona of Archangel. It was time for him to look at the man who held his reflection.

"Michael, whatever you do, don't let him see Michael in you. Be the man I saw that captured that bastard. You're head of the most secretive intelligence agency in the world. There is no room for compassion to a man who did what he did to Caitlin and others. He is not the man who saved your life." String said as he stood up and met Michael's eyes.

Michael acknowledged the look and any shred of compassion was gone as he went through the door and walked to David's cell. He put his cane off to the side and walked stiffly to the door where he stood.

David was still in need of a shower. His cot had no pillow or sheets. There was nothing in the room but a cot and a mattress. He was given food, but no utensils. There was no way he could make a weapon. The bed was welded to the floor. A commode protuded out of the wall. A sink with no faucet was beside it. Water was limited.

"Hello David. How did you manage to get away with what you did all these years?" Michael said.

"You aren't here to talk about that. I keep thinking of how well trained you made that delightful piece of ass of yours. Michael, why did you keep her such a secret? The way she fits..." David said as he egged him on.

"I suppose if that is all you can talk about, I am wasting my time. I can keep you here indefinitely or until your benefactor makes himself known. If you want the privelige of a shower or some other ammenities, I would advise you to start cooperating." Archangel said.

"What is the fun in that? The accomodations are quite nice. No where near those cages in Nam. Am I getting to you? You're getting rusty. You're not the same man I knew." David said.

"I wish I could say the same of you. You have proven that you were a better agent than I was. I trusted you. I should have met you and turned you over to the international authorities. Instead I thought you needed a touch of home. It won't happen again. I wonder what the Italian police would do to you. Good bye David." Michael said.

He walked out the door and down the hallway. He leaned heavily on his cane. As he came to the room where Hawke was, he felt the strain of the last few days take their toll.

Hawke was there to grab him and place him in the chair. Michael put the back of his head against the wall, took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He managed to focus on String.

"We need to find out who his benefactor is. Marella has looked through the database. She hasn't found anyone. He has to be out there somewhere and has to know where David is being held by now." Michael said tiredly.

"Michael go home. Cait needs you. You've done your best for God and Country. Find your way back to her. If anything happens, I will let you know." Hawke said.

"I can't let you stay. This isn't your fight."

"The hell it isn't. Go home and be the Michael she loves. I don't mind being this bastard's jailer. Just get me some decent food and get Dom." Hawke said.

"Done and thanks." Michael said as he managed to walk with a prominent limp out the door.

Hawke was left alone with the prisoner. His mind went over the things said and had a feeling that left him with a bad taste in his mouth. He didn't want to be right but...


	40. reflections

Michael took the long way home. He needed to decompress. Part of him was full of rage. Part of that rage was at himself. One of the ways he survived over the years was by relying on his instinct. How could he have been so wrong? What was there about David that would cause him to put a blind eye to his actions.

Nam was a different world. ... a different planet. He had worked closely with David on a number of missions, he thought he knew how his mind worked. This was different. It was an ultimate betrayal. It was only after what he did to Caitlin that he saw what he didn't want to see. ... what he didn't want to admit, especially to himself.

Marella kept her head throughout this whole ordeal. She gathered information that should put an end to it once and for all. The names and the dates added up to a psychopath who honed his skills with each woman he tortured. Despite whoever was protecting him, Michael was determined to make Caitlin his last victim.

HIs concern now was for Cait. As he drove, he made a silent vow that they would get through this. However she decided to handle this, he would back her 100%. He wanted nothing more than to get beyond what was done to her... to them.

He knew that finding David was more of a personal vendetta, than it was the noble attempt at justice. He knew that he had wanted to strike him with every fiber of his being. He could have kidded himself into believing it was for justice,,, justice for all those women he had hurt over the years, but he was kidding himself. He didn't even do it for Cait. He did it because the bastard had fooled him over the years. The only way David could make Michael see who he truly was, was to hurt the woman he loved.

David was locked away in the bowels of Knightsbridge, so now he could concentrate on Cait. He would do anything to get back to what they had. That included forgiving himself for not seeing David in the light of day.

He was longer than he expected. so he got a pizza and some roses. By the time he pulled into the driveway, the sun was setting. 

He went into the house and saw her standing in the shadows. Her back was to him. She was dressed in a silk robe. The sunset surrounded her with a soft light that took his breath away.

He was Michael. He had removed some of the the armor associated with the white knight. His jacket and tie were placed on the back seat. There were still a few traces of Archangel remained as he put the pizza on the table and went to her. He hesitated before embracing her in his arms. This is what mattered. She was now where she needed to be. He found himself breathing again. The confrontation with David was a distant memory. He slowly matched her rhythm of breathing. She melted into him.

This was what she needed. She wanted nothing more than to be loved by him. She needed to block any trace of David from her mind. She needed that man who had come to her apartment that day when a bomb was strapped to her and let her take control. She realized how much she had come to need him in her life. She had been there when they found him in Italy, She had been there when he learned his brother was murdered. She had come to realize that there was a difference between Michael and Archangel.

She understood why he needed to go after David. It may have started out as defending her honor, but it ended with the first name on the list of women David had manipulated and tortured. The number of women was in the midrange double digits. She was there when Marella gathered the information. She saw some of the names and the countries where David had been.

Regardless of the reason, she was glad Michael was taking a major part in the investigation. Michael had found David in a matter of days. Had it been anyone else or any other agency, it would have taken weeks. Archangel did not have the constraints of Miranda. He was given some leeway with regards to how to handle people in his custody. That is if anyone knew David was in custody.

But that would wait for another time. She wanted nothing more than to feel this. His arms were around her and she was powerless to feel much else.

This man who could be with any woman, wanted her. She was more than willing. Having learned just how human he was gave her a different perspective. She was happy when she had managed to uncover the layers and find the man he hid from others.

This experience would help them grow into that love that few experienced. She considered herself lucky to be one of the few who would know such a love.

He finally pulled away, and took her hand. He kissed her. The kiss started gently and became more demanding as he led them to the bedroom. Her robe slipped off a shoulder and his vest was draped over the couch. By the time they reached the bedroom their clothes left a trail to the bed.

He held her and waited for the touch to take them to new heights. Her body was the finest silk and he waited for her to touch him where it would give them the most pleasure. It lasted an eternity, but it was not long enough. It was a sense of mutual surrender and forgiveness. 

They slept without letting go....


	41. the madman

David had been in worse situations before. He had let Archangel capture him. After all these years of having his dalliances, he was tired. Cait was the ultimate conquest. He had pushed her to the point where she would do just about anything so that he would not betray her to Michael. She was unlike any of the women he had ever manipulated. it was the first time that he took her and made her his own that was the most dangerous. If she would have told Michael afterwards, who knows what Michael would have done.

His friendship with Michael had survived over the years despite the distances and their differences. Michael had made it through the ranks and after Zeus had fallen from grace, was now head of one of the most secretive agencies in the world.

David felt the man should be taught a lesson. When he met Caitlin, he knew Michael was easy prey. Caitlin had a beauty that shone inside and out. Taking her was easy. All he had to do was convince her that the Michael he told her of in Vietnam was the same Michael who stood before her now.

David could see that Caitlin had misgivings about him from the moment they met. But he knew she would keep silent to protect Michael. From the first moment they were alone, he started in on her with the innuendos and a private touch here and there. He soon had her convinced that the man she knew was not the man he was. He spoke of their exploits in Vietnam, and their comparing of notes with the women they shared. Caitlin managed to keep silent after the first night. After that he saw her as his for the taking. Making her cum despite her mind's desire to have him stop was the key.

He had destroyed Archangel not with a bang, but with a whimper. 

If Caitlin told him, she would have to confess that he made her cum. If Caitlin, didn't tell, he would have a toy whenever he came back to the states. Michael would never know because of her silence. That was why he did not resist when Michael found him. He loved seeing the transition from Michael to Archangel.

No matter how hard Michael fought to restrain himself, David knew he was getting to him. He felt the blow lessen when Michael pulled it at the last minute.

The only unknown was Hawke. He was unfamiliar with the history between the two men. What little dealings he had with the pilot, did not give him any inkling as to what the man might do if they were alone together.

But that was made life interesting and despite the lack of distraction, David could wait. He could easily spend his time reliving his conquests. If he was being monitored, he could masturbate for all to see. What would they say about him then? He was sure that castration was on a list of things that could be done to him. He laughed. The biggest errongenous zone was the mind...

He had grown accustomed to treating women as objects. They were there to serve one purpose and that was to please him. Numerous countries treated women as second class citizens. He knew that rape was an everyday occurrence. He figured if he gave a woman pleasure, then it wasn't rape. He had a habit and knowledge of to push the right buttons. The best thing was when he would be with a woman and he would make her beg.

No woman would press charges against him if they had to admit that he pleasured them.

Caitlin was one of if not the first who confessed to her lover. He had the edge, Michael had trusted him with the woman he loved. It was an added pleasure knowing that he betrayed a trust involving someone he had known for years. David humiliated a man who was known to read people.

The unknown was Hawke. 

Hawke had become his jailer. Hawke was not officially part of the Firm. He wore jeans and cowboy boots. He didn't fit the mold of a government agent. That made him dangerous. That was why he behaved himself. He had no desire to be someone else's punching bag... at least not yet.

He needed to bide his time. That was why he was waiting. Nam had taught him patience a skill which he honed on other missions throughout the years. It was this skill which let his superiors put a blind eye to his treatment of women. If you give someone what they want, they forgive your idiosycracies.

It was just a matter of time before someone would find out where he was and make life hell for Archangel.


	42. raoe vs. consent

Michael noticed a car in the driveway as he pulled in. He was hoping it was Carol Hewitt. He had worked with her before some years back when one of his staff had been accosted near her apartment. She had been overly tired and her attacker had hid in the shadows.

Michael had been there in the days that followed. He wanted to understand and help the girl in any way he could. He met Carol Hewitt, a therapist and hit it off with the woman. He helped in any way he could. He wanted to make sure his staff were safe. He wanted the illusion of it never happening again.

He was glad to see her sitting with Cait. 

He came in, gave some attention to Pearl and sat down without saying a word. Carol acknowledged him and continued to speak.

"I hate to say this, but like any trauma this will take time to get over it. You have been attacked physically and emotionally. From what you told me, he manipulated you in such a way that you were terrified and froze. You may think he let him do this to you, but because he had done it before, he knew what buttons to push. You are fortunate that Michael was there to support you. A lot of women I have counseled don't have a good support system. Women are taught that it was something they let happen. Thankfully that is changing. If you need to talk, here is a phone number you can call." she said.

"Michael it is good to see you. How is Janine?" she added.

"Married and with a baby on the way. She was too good to terminate. I am glad we could help her and others. Thanks for the home visit. Will we live?" Michael asked with a smile.

"She doesn't give herself enough credit. You are lucky to have each other. Michael I never thought you would find love. Your life was your work. I am glad we met. Your mother taught you well." she said.

"How would you know about my mother? Never mind. I will see about getting you some sort of funding to keep up your work." he said.

"Not necessary. That is what I am here for. Like your work, it has become my mission. She needs to accept what happened and forgive herself. You need to do the same. Cait told me he was a.. friend of yours. You are human Michael... don't let this destroy you or what you have. He wins if you do... and he doesn't deserve to win." Carol said as she got up.

Michael walked her to the door. Pearl looked up at the woman and went between her legs. The purr was like music.

"I seem to have made a friend." she said as she touched Michael's hand before leaving.

"I should have paid closer attention to her when she met David. She hissed at him and she was right." he said as he watched the sun start to set.

"Take care of each other. It will take time, but I think you'll make it. If you need me, call." she said as she was caught up in the sunset. She took a moment to enjoy the luxury. She had become a strong advocate over the years. Just as she had needed one all those years ago...

Michael shut and locked the door. He took off his jacket, vest and tie and draped them over the chair. Leaving some of Archangel to the wayside, he unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and went to her. He put an arm around her and breathed her scent.

Hawke was right. He had some down time coming and he should take advantage of it. David could wait for a day or two. Caitlin deserved some down time. Maybe a trip should be in order. Regardless of what it was, he would not leave her side. The damage had been done. He was no longer sure of the excuses that could keep them from making it official. Other men in his position had relationships...

If anything the love he had for her had intensified since this had begun. Each crisis made their feelings stronger. It was his hesitation that kept him from going the next step. David's visit prior to his knowledge of the rape, had convinced him to buy the ring. The diamond was nearly flawless.

Cait disturbed his reverie. She leaned in and touched his face before kissing him. The kiss was long and slow and it lingered on their lips as he drew her to the bed. The sun dipped deeper down as they wordlessly let their love take them to a bliss long forgotten.

Was there something they forgot? Whatever it was it could wait...


	43. raoe vs. consent

Michael noticed a car in the driveway as he pulled in. He was hoping it was Carol Hewitt. He had worked with her before some years back when one of his staff had been accosted near her apartment. She had been overly tired and her attacker had hid in the shadows.

Michael had been there in the days that followed. He wanted to understand and help the girl in any way he could. He met Carol Hewitt, a therapist and hit it off with the woman. He helped in any way he could. He wanted to make sure his staff were safe. He wanted the illusion of it never happening again.

He was glad to see her sitting with Cait. 

He came in, gave some attention to Pearl and sat down without saying a word. Carol acknowledged him and continued to speak.

"I hate to say this, but like any trauma this will take time to get over it. You have been attacked physically and emotionally. From what you told me, he manipulated you in such a way that you were terrified and froze. You may think he let him do this to you, but because he had done it before, he knew what buttons to push. You are fortunate that Michael was there to support you. A lot of women I have counseled don't have a good support system. Women are taught that it was something they let happen. Thankfully that is changing. If you need to talk, here is a phone number you can call." she said.

"Michael it is good to see you. How is Janine?" she added.

"Married and with a baby on the way. She was too good to terminate. I am glad we could help her and others. Thanks for the home visit. Will we live?" Michael asked with a smile.

"She doesn't give herself enough credit. You are lucky to have each other. Michael I never thought you would find love. Your life was your work. I am glad we met. Your mother taught you well." she said.

"How would you know about my mother? Never mind. I will see about getting you some sort of funding to keep up your work." he said.

"Not necessary. That is what I am here for. Like your work, it has become my mission. She needs to accept what happened and forgive herself. You need to do the same. Cait told me he was a.. friend of yours. You are human Michael... don't let this destroy you or what you have. He wins if you do... and he doesn't deserve to win." Carol said as she got up.

Michael walked her to the door. Pearl looked up at the woman and went between her legs. The purr was like music.

"I seem to have made a friend." she said as she touched Michael's hand before leaving.

"I should have paid closer attention to her when she met David. She hissed at him and she was right." he said as he watched the sun start to set.

"Take care of each other. It will take time, but I think you'll make it. If you need me, call." she said as she was caught up in the sunset. She took a moment to enjoy the luxury. She had become a strong advocate over the years. Just as she had needed one all those years ago...

Michael shut and locked the door. He took off his jacket, vest and tie and draped them over the chair. Leaving some of Archangel to the wayside, he unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt and went to her. He put an arm around her and breathed her scent.

Hawke was right. He had some down time coming and he should take advantage of it. David could wait for a day or two. Caitlin deserved some down time. Maybe a trip should be in order. Regardless of what it was, he would not leave her side. The damage had been done. He was no longer sure of the excuses that could keep them from making it official. Other men in his position had relationships...

If anything the love he had for her had intensified since this had begun. Each crisis made their feelings stronger. It was his hesitation that kept him from going the next step. David's visit prior to his knowledge of the rape, had convinced him to buy the ring. The diamond was nearly flawless.

Cait disturbed his reverie. She leaned in and touched his face before kissing him. The kiss was long and slow and it lingered on their lips as he drew her to the bed. The sun dipped deeper down as they wordlessly let their love take them to a bliss long forgotten.

Was there something they forgot? Whatever it was it could wait...


	44. Another Monkey wrench

As soon as Caitlin left his side, he woke with alarms going off in his head. Night had fallen and she was nowhere in the shadows. He got up and found her brushing her teeth. He noticed the commode had been flushed. He saw the color had drained from her face. He was afraid of touching her. He was concerned because she appeared to be ill.

"Caitlin can I do anything for you?" he said as she noticed him in the mirror.

"Michael I appreciate it. I got nauseated, and it has been like this the last couple of days. Let me get cleaned up and i will join you in a few minutes." She said as she got a washcloth and washed her face and neck.

He realized they had not eaten before then had made their way to the bed. He wondered if she had eaten much of anything since she had been examined. Everything had been off since he had noticed the bruises.

He did not want to think of him. If he could block out the bastard from his thoughts, he would. She was too important to him for David to be all consuming.

He wondered if getting David was the right thing. It was the only thing. He had to face up to his responsibilities. He caught David not only for Caitlin, but for all those other women that he knew were out there. He could not fathom raping a woman. He was taught better than that. He felt responsible for them and for Cait. He was relieved that David was at Knightsbridge. He was glad that Hawke was watching over him.

He lay there waiting for Cait. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He wanted to delay it for just a little longer. Then the bastard better pray for redemption. He would need it for every dirty deed.

Cait had a pretty good idea what was wrong. She had been on the pill until they became an item. He was all she ever wanted. He saw sides of him that no one else could see. There were sides to him that he would share with her and no one else. She wanted to have his child. He deserved happiness. Now she wanted nothing more than to wish it was the flu. She remembered her mother having bad pregnancies.

Morning sickness was a misnomer. It could happen any time day or night and throughout the entire pregnancy. If she was anything like her mother, that meant living on crackers and cravings. When her mother was pregnant with her brother, she craved rocky road and dill pickles. Right now all she wanted was Michael.

She wanted to be wrong.

She needed to see a doctor. She would be damned if she would tell Michael. Knowing Michael and how observant he was, she wondered if he was afraid too. She wondered if he would question who the father was. Tests would have to be run. Tests to determine... NO! She would not let herself think that. Please just let it be the flu.

<

She went to his side and breathed in his scent. He held her protectively and it was enough. Morning would come too soon.


	45. Dominic

Dominic was aggravated at the protocol it took for him to finally get to String. He had a feeling it had something go do with the bag he was carrying. The dishes were sealed, but no amount of wrapping could prevent the aroma of his homemade sauce from leaking out. He was wondering if the smell came from him as well.

He finally reached his destination. 

String was sleeping at the desk in front of the doors that led to the cell that held the bastard who hurt Cait and God knows how many other women. There was a part of Dom that wanted to see the bastard alone face to face, but Hawke woke before he had the chance.

"Awww real food. Although they have a decent cafeteria, it is just a cafeteria. I take it this is a bribe? You want to meet the animal that hurt Cait." he said as he opened the bag. The food was still warm. Hawke took as slow inhale and smiled.

 

"I am still having a hard time with the fact that Michael let such a monster into the house. I knew he trusted people, but you don't just let someone who you knew..." Dom said as he paced and wrung his hands.

"He knows he made a mistake. I doubt if he will ever forgive himself. But what matters now is Cait. No matter what happens, Cait needs our help. That no good fucking bastard should be taught a lesson. Michael hit him once during the entire captivity thus far. He is in a cell where he has nothing but time. There is no clock, and no window. It is amazing what happens to you when there is way to measure time. His diet has been nothing bur hamburgers and shakes. No utensils, or even a straw. Michael asked that there be no deviation in the diet." Hawke said.

"So where is Mr. Clean?" Dom asked.

"Cut him some slack. He is with Caitlin. I told him to be with her. He managed to get Eustice back without a whimper. He managed to control his rage throughout this ordeal... If Cait would kept silent..." Hawke said as he wiped a hand across his eyes.

"If anything more happens..." Dom said vehemently.

"I want to see him. You eat and i want to see someone that could hurt Cait and laugh about it." Dom said.

:Hawke led him to the cell. He hesistated for a moment and went back to the desk where the food was still warm. Dom saw the dimly lit room and found the man sitting on the cot.

The first thing he saw was a smile. It was more of a smirk than a smile. He was staring at Dominic. He was assessing Dominic. He had no idea who he was and had not seen a picture of Caitlin's father. He got up from the cot and walked from the cot with the same leer. When he got closer to Dominic, Dominic took a step back and slowly studied the bastard.

Dominic ignored the scent that was radiating from him at took a moment to judge the man who had hurt the girl he had envisioned as his daughter. He was glad there was a barrier between them. It took nearly every ounce of strength to keep him from reacting to the man who stood before him.

"I have to tell you what a fantastic lay your daughter is. She is your daughter, right? I mean if her mother is anything like her ..." David said.

"Thank you for making me realize you are not worth my time. By the way I am not her father. It is hard to believe that you can actually be an 'intelliegence agent.' How anyone could mistake you for something other than the vermin you are is a mystery to me." Dominic said as he walked away. He concentrated on each step and once he got through the door and shut it, he raised his fists and roared.

Hawke smiled. He knew that the man would bait him.

"He thought I was her father, and I just pray that Caitlin never has to hear another word from his lips. Is that the garbage he has been spewing?" Dom said as he took a seat near Hawke.

"You know accidents have been known to happen, even in isolation." he said.

"I'm with you kid. Do you want Michael in on it?" Dom asked.

"We have to wait for the right moment. Michael still needs to know who his benefactor is. Marella is going through the files. This is the last time he is going to get away with it. It stops here and it stops now." Hawke said.

"The only way he leaves here alive is by an act of congress." Dominic said. He knew he had to bide his time. Much as he wanted it to be the contrary, the ultimate voice on what would happen to the bastard was was Michael. Knowing Michael, he would uncover any evidence against the man and have some way of making the son of a bitch own up to what he did, not only to Caitlin, but to the other women he had perfected his technique on. He may have been protected before, but Michael would be the final say. God help him.


	46. what now

Michael waited in the bed he now shared with Cait. He wanted to give her the time she needed, but he knew instinctually what was wrong. She had been off birth control for some time now. He knew the symptoms, and he wondered if going off the pill was the right thing to do. Much as he loved her, he did not want to push her into motherhood this fast. Now there was a second possibility. He did not want to think it but it was staring him in the face. Just how many times had David raped her in the five days of his visit?

The man had a warped way about how he treated women. One of the reasons Cait was afraid of telling him was because the bastard had made her cum. She was ashamed of how her body reacted to David. David actually believed it was not rape if he made the women he took climax, That was his excuse for using women the way he did. Cait was no exception. he added insult to injury by convincing his conquests that they wanted it and telling lies about the men they were with. He could come up with anything for them to keep their mouth shut. Something about that skill made it all the more special. He could go back and have a willing partner based on the fear he instilled in them. If Cait had stayed quiet it would have been the same with her. Michael wanted to make sure that Cait was the last.

He still had no inkling as to who was protecting Eustice. Something was nagging at him and he wanted Marella to check the file again. He knew he was missing something. Much as he wanted to do the work himself, right now his priority was Cait.

He was fortunate that Hawke was watching over Eustice. He needed someone he could trust and he needed consistency to work on the bastard. Techniques such as dimming the lights, having no clock in the room, and feeding him the same meal for days at a time would mess with David's mind. He was sure that Hawke had other motives for keeping an eye on the bastard. String loved Cait, but not in the same way Michael did. Hawke handled things differently.

He knew that Hawke would do anything for Cait. He knew that he could trust Hawke to be consistent. After a few days of these techniques, he might actually have the bastard more compliant. He was glad that String was there watching the bastard while he tried to protect and help Cait. Michael didn't want to believe that Cait was pregnant. He knew it would add another twist in the equation.

Nonetheless he would accept full responsibility.

Cait came into the room. Michael lay next to her.

"Cait, we will get through this, no matter what happens." Michael said. He held her with his hand over her stomach.

"It's not the flu is it." he said in a flat voice.

She turned in his arms and started to weep. She was tired. She was tired of the tears and was glad he had figured it out. She wanted to believe that the child was his, but she was afraid. She was afraid and needed him now more than ever.


	47. truth among lies

The knock on the door was unexpected. Michael opened the door, and ushered Marella in. She walked directly to his office and waited. Michael kissed the sleeping Caitlin and followed Marella. He closed the door quietly but felt the air in his office change. Marella looked grim. He tightened the belt on his robe and read her face as he sat behind his desk. He held his breath as she handed him the file.

"Michael there is no easy way to tell you this. I am so sorry." she said as he opened the file.

He turned on the light that was on his desk. The light shattered the darkness of the room. He opened the file with two fingers. There was something unnerving about looking at the black letters on the white page, He now realized what had been there all along. He should have seen it. He should have seen it but was too close to the situation.

His instinct was right, he had known David's benefactor for a long time. The man had recruited him into the intelligence field. THe man had trained him and given him the tools for survival. The man had protected Eustice for over twenty years. He put a blind eye since Vietnam to the way he treated women. Even when times had changed, he still managed to protect him. It wasn't just because of the intelligence work he did for God and country. He must have done it because David was related to him by blood. David was the man's sister's only child.

Michael finally saw the connection. David's uncle was the Admiral.

Michael finally understood how David managed to get away with all his exploits. He finally understood why David slipped through the cracks. The Admiral had enough power and money to get David out of any scrape he managed to get into while working for the government. In someone's twisted mind, the government thought it was worth the price to put a blind eye to David's idiosyncrasies.

Until now.

David had crossed the line when he abused his trust with Michael. If David thought he was bulletproof in the U.S. of A., he was sorely mistaken. Michael was now head of the Firm. Michael now had more power than David's uncle. Michael had been groomed for this position by the man himself.

The question that remained was how to prosecute the bastard without defaming one of the most honorable men he ever knew.

"Michael, I am sorry. We did not see it because the names didn't match. It took a little digging to find out David;s relationship to the Admiral. He had the pull to get this psychopath out of trouble. He used his money and power to protect him. The Admiral has gotten older. David saw your position getting higher and used your faith in him to destroy you. If Caitlin would have kept silent, he would have.:" Marella said softly.

MIchael took a few deep breaths to compose himself. He gripped his hands tightly. He controlled the rage he felt churning within him. He kept picturing the man who recruited him after Jack died. he remembered the man who bailed him out of impossible situations. He owed the man more than his life, he owed him his soul. 

But he did not know the cruelty that David could do. Over the years the Admiral had hidden his discretions so that Michael did not learn of the details until now. 

One question remained. If the Admiral kept tabs on the man, he had to have known that David was coming back to the states. He had to have known that the maniac was going to visit Michael. Why hadn't the Admiral told Michael?

"Marella, I have to see him. Make the arrangements. Stay with Caitlin. I shouldn't be more than a day. Why? Why didn't he give me a heads up? How could he let such a psychopath back in the states without warning? My God, I let him in my house and he... I was responsible. That lousy excuse of a human being... How can I ever make it up to her?" Michael said with the grief pouring out of him.

"Michael there was no way you could have known, The Admiral was old school and taught you everything you know, but not everything he knows. Michael you can't change the past. You have to get through this. You have to get through this with Cait. We have to help Cait. We have David under lock and key. Hawke will stay with him, I am sure. I'll make the arrangements. I will stay with her. But while I set the things in motion, go to her. You need each other. I will have someone pick you up in a few hours. Michael keep in mind that David is his family..." Marella said.

"Thank you for bringing me the file. I would not have believed it otherwise. You went beyond the call of duty." he said as he got up. 

"Caitlin is a wonderful asset to the team. She has done wonders with a certain Archangel. I'll be back in three." she said as she went out the door. 

Michael went back to his bedroom. The bed was empty. Cait was in the bathroom. Michael grabbed a washcloth and wiped her forehead. She leaned into him.

"Regardless of the biology, I consider this our baby if you are pregnant. We don't know for certain. It may be a virus. I am sorry but I have to leave for a day or so. If it weren't important I would stay for the results. Let me hold you for a while. We will get through this. I love you." he said as he helped her up.

"Michael, as long as you love me... I can get through anything. My want of you has become a need." she said.

He carried her back to the bed and let her head rest against his chest. He needed sleep, even if only for an hour. As long as she was by his side, he could sleep. 

He tried to shut his mind down for this time... He would read the file completely en route to the Admiral. Right now he needed her strength to make it through the next few days.

Her rhythm evened out. It allowed him the time to recharge before facing a man he had trusted, only to see who he really was. The hero had fallen. He had fallen over twenty years ago. He realized just how good an agent he was.

Michael realized he had a blind spot when it came to people he trusted and cared for. He had to harden himself before he confronted the man that was like the only father he ever knew. The only man he had trusted with his soul... The man who had let the bastard come into his home knowing full well what he was a psychopath. A man Michael thought he knew and trusted.


	48. family first

It had been years since Michael visited the Admiral. He had kept in touch but work kept him away. Every step he took made what he saw unfamiliar. He was seeing it with different eyes. Part of him mourned the loss. For the first time since meeting him on campus, he felt the hesitancy of meeting a stranger. He knew he would never see the man the same way again.

He was greeted by the housekeeper and was directed to the garden. He found him sitting in a lawn chair with his back to him.

Michael controlled the rage. His left leg was barely supporting him and he relied on his cane to make it to the chair opposite his mentor. He sat there afraid of saying a word. He occupied his time looking at the garden, afraid to speak. 

"Michael, he's my sister's only child.:" the Admiral said flatly. He looked older than he was and he could not look at Michael. He was surprised by the control Michael was showing. He had expected some kind of physical confrontation. Instead he he felt the controlled rage emanating from him. He wondered if the silence was an acknowledgment or merely a way to control the rage. Every movement was forced and deliberate.

Michael held on to his cane for dear life. Every muscle in his body was screaming with tension. He slowly looked at the man who treated him as a son. This man was more than his friend, he was one of the few people he would do anything for without question. Until now.

This man had protected someone who treated women with such disdain that he was surprised that the Admiral would defend him all these years. Rebecca had it right. David was so good at hiding his true self to those around him. He was so good at what he did that the women blamed themselves for his actions. If he could manipulate women that way, it was easy to convince others that he could never do such a thing. It worked for years and with the help of his uncle. Until now.

It was shear fluke that Caitlin had told Michael. It was her trust in Michael and the shame of being raped repeatedly that led her to telling him what really happened. It was his love and trust in her that made him believe her. He wished she would have told him earlier, but he was glad she told him.

She had been trying to protect him. She did not want to destroy the friendship which had been forged years before. She knew that Michael was loyal to a fault. He had been burned over the years, but he had never expected the betrayal to come from people he trusted his life with.

He looked at the Admiral as if seeing him for the first time. The years had not been kind to him, and time had taken its toll. He took a slow deep breath.

"Why? Why didn't you warn me? Why did you let this happen to Cait?" He asked with a barely controlled rage.

"You were my protege, I have known David since he was born. His father died, and I could not have loved him more if be were my own son. He kept saying he could control himself. By the time I realized he could not stop, it was too late. He would have implicated me. It would have destroyed my sister. I could not let my protecting him destroy what I had worked so hard for. The Firm was far too important for it to be destroyed by my mistake." The Admiral said quietly. He dare not look at Michael.

"But why? How could you not tell me? How could you let this happen to Cait? Surely you would have known that I would go after the bastard. You had to have known what I would do." Michael said in anguish. He gripped his cane so tightly, his knuckles were white.

"Michael, I never thought it would happen to Caitlin. You and he were friends for a long time. I thought he respected you enough not to do it to her. David is sick." he said.

"SICK!!! My God you say that as if he could be treated with chemotherapy! You knew all this time. Have you seen him lately? He thinks he did nothing wrong. He thinks he is bulletproof. He shows no sign of remorse... Surely you know I have him in custody. I have let him sit in his own filth. I am using techniques you taught me to break him..."

"Michael, what can I say. I am sorry about what happened to Cait. I should have warned you. I had no idea what he was capable of. I was so used to bailing him out... When I learned what he had done and that you took him into custody... I was glad you had the strength to do what I should have done years ago." He said tiredly.

"Don't you realize I would have done anything for you? You were more than a mentor. You were the father that died months before I was born. I would do anything you asked without question. I have seen things and done things I am not proud of for God and country. I finally found someone who I could be plain Michael with and I learn that it was you who protected him all these years. Cait will never be the same. He brutalized her in such a way..." Michael said in a broken voice.

The Admiral looked at him with tired eyes. He wanted to move but his limbs were lead. The least he could do was listen to Michael. He knew he was wrong from the first, but his sister had pleaded with him and by the time he realized what kind of man David had become, it was too late.

"There was nothing I could do." The Admiral said tiredly.

"The hell there wasn't. It was in your power... I saw him do it in Nam and I put a blind eye to it. He's now in my custody. What do you want to do with him now?" Michael said. Before the man had a chance to answer, he walked stiffly away. He had a flight to catch and a woman he didn't deserve.


	49. retribution

Hawke felt like he had been at Knightsbridge for weeks. He needed a break. The area he had been in felt almost as small as the cell Eustice was in. He understood the logic of it, and he knew Michael would not have asked him to be jailer to the bastard if it wasn't necessary. Any man would have broken by now, but this bastard knew the techniques. If anything he was calmer than when they first brought him here.

It had given Hawke a lot of time to think. 

He had managed to get a copy of the file Marella had on the man. He also managed without Michael's notice to obtain the one that contained the information on his benefactor. He was tired and saw the name in disbelief. He knew the history between Michael and the Admiral. He remembered Martin Vidor whose last words were about knowing where his brother Sin Jin was. The anguish and the rage were just the tip of the iceberg. It took time to shrug off what he felt. There were times when it came back to haunt him. 

That was why he stayed. It was the least he could do for all those women David had manipulated. Marella had done a good job at being thorough. He was sure she had found out nuances that could be found between the lines of the reports. He was awed by her speed and efficiency. Michael looked good in part because of the people he surrounded himself with. If anything the accident that took his eye and nearly his leg made him more menacing. One stare from that eye could make the coolest man cringe... except David.

Then there was Caitlin. He had no idea that Caitlin would lose her job and come after him. He had no idea how valuable she would become. What was so unexpected was that she would fall for a man at least ten years her senior. Worse yet was that it would be Michael.

He hated to admit it, but up to this point they were good for each other. Michael seemed just as serious, but more at ease.

When he found out that she was raped by his good friend, he wore his persona of Archangel to find him. Both he and Michael were surprised when he was so easy to catch. Michael had shown great restraint when the bastard said all those things defaming Cait.

The man was getting ripe after three days and it didn't seem to annoy him one bit.

Experience taught him a few things in life. He had met many people... but few came close to the man he was watching over. He learned a lot about the man who seemed to be enjoying his predicament. Now that he knew the Admiral was his benefactor, he understood it even more.

He hadn't totaled the number of women he had hurt. He noticed a few of the names had the word deceased beside their names. It made sense to him. David had manipulated and abused them to the point where they saw no way out. The Admiral had given him the impression that David could do anything and he would be there to bail him out.

Until now.

Hawke could not let this man live. He honored Michael's wishes, but there were some things he could not let the man have on his conscience. Instinctualy Hawke knew what had to be done. He would not let Michael have one more thing that would haunt him.

Hawke could not let David have the remotest possibility of hurting one more person. Cait was hurting. Michael was hurting. The man to blame was feeding off the pain he caused to others.

Hawke would not let David's death be on the conscience of Michael.

He knew what needed to be done, and while Michael was facing his mentor, he knew he was the one who could do it.

Michael might forgive him... in time. 

Hawke knew ways of killing that would not leave a mark. He knew Rebecca would perform the autopsy. It would be a simple case of the man falling and hitting his head against the bed welded to the floor. Hawke could arrange some water of the floor which would lead to the slip that would cause the 'accident'. 

It would leave Michael with one less thing to worry about. It would help Caitlin heal. She would never have to see the fucking bastard again.

It had to be done.

Hawke took one last look at the names and remembered them as he went through the door to David's cell. If he had any doubt about what he was doing it was erased by the maniacal grin that graced the bastard's face. Call it mercy if you will...

He never saw it coming. His ego would not permit the possibility of a boy doing a man's job...


	50. decisions made

By the time Michael got back to the jet, his leg was nearly impossible to walk on. Once in the air, he propped it up as best he could and closed his eyes.

Once closed he could not stop the images from forming. He was afraid to sleep. He wasn't a bit surprised by what the Admiral had said, but when he used the excuse of David being ill he felt a rage he had never felt toward his mentor.

If you know someone is ill, you find help for them. You don't hide it with lies, money and position. Wanting to keep the Firm intact was just an excuse to cover it up. Now that Michael was officially head of the Firm, he had few choices when it came to handling David.

Because David was not part of the organization, he had no right to hold him. If he handed him over to the authorities, he would have no choice but to rely on Caitlin for pressing charges and going through the stress of a trial. If she was pregnant, what would it do to her? There were too many unknown variables.

Much as he wanted to see her, he had to go to Knightsbridge. He had to see David before he made any decisions concerning his status.

Part of him was in disbelief over the entire situation. Much as he wanted to forget everything that happened and act as if it were a few weeks earlier, he knew there was no way turn back time. Reality was dealing him a hard blow. What he was going through was nothing compared to Caitlin. He needed to be there for her. He needed to be able to help her like she had helped him after Italy.

He had allowed himself to get too close and to love her like no other. He realized now that it was foolish to want to marry her. He was foolish to try and build a life with her. David had proved that point beyond all comprehension.

He was glad that the pilot's cabin had a door and it was shut. He allowed himself to moan in anguish over the futility of it all.

Much as he wanted to kill David, he couldn't hurt his mentor. Despite the betrayal, he still respected the man. He didn't have the strength to hear another word coming from his mouth.

Dr. Rebecca Moore had it right. David was a psychopath who could blend into the woodwork when he wanted to stay hidden. He was better at appearing normal than those who were considered normal. That was how David had fooled everyone: especially Archangel.

His last target was Michael, but the one who paid the price was Caitlin. And if Caitlin was carrying his child...

Things had been going too well and Michael should have realized there was always the other shoe that would drop.

He found himself walking heavily down the corridor to where David was kept. The last thing he wanted to see was David, but he had to face him before going home to see Caitlin. He needed to have the illusion with her for a little while longer.

He went to where David was held and saw Rebecca coming out. She was wringing her hands and looking at Hawke.

"What happened?" Michael said with a look of concern.

"David's dead." she said without emotion.

"How?" Michael asked as he sat down. He wasn't sure what he felt. There were too many emotions at once. Relief was mixed with anger and suspicion. He had approved of the way the cells were designed. There was no way to commit suicide. He had searched David himself and was very thorough. Besides, David was not in a suicidal mindset. David had not known that Archangel had learned who his benefactor was. The last time he had seen the man, David goaded him.

He had been gone less than a day. He knew he could trust Hawke, but there was something off about this. There was nothing he could do about it now except inform the Admiral.

"I went to check on him and near as I can tell he slipped in some water. The bed is welded to the ground. It looked like he hit his head. I called Rebecca and had her check for life signs. It was too late." Hawke said.

"So you are telling me it was an accident." Michael said.

Hawke nodded.

"Michael there is nothing left for you to do here. Go and take care of Caitlin. She needs you. You need rest. It's over on this end. Take care of the both of you. Once this is cleaned up, I'll go to the cabin. You can find me there." Hawke said.

"You're right. Have Marella notify the next of kin. Thanks String for staying. I needed him to lose all sense of time. It would not have worked without you. I'm not sure if it worked at all, but it doesn't matter now. I'll be in touch." he said. He managed to get out of Knightsbridge and concentrate on the drive.

He had seen the files on the desk and wondered how much String knew. He knew Hawke could kill and make things look like an accident. He had no proof and he was too tired and wanted nothing more than to see the women in his life. He needed to delay what he knew he had to do until he knew for certain about the pregnancy.

Reality could be down right painful at times, but if it meant protecting her...


	51. Ending the Nightmare

Hawke borrowed a chopper from the Firm and flew back home.

Ironically after spending time with David and not seeing hardly anyone but the maniac for days, he needed the solitude to decompress. Even in Nam he had kept to himself... until he met Michael. Michael had understood him better than his superiors. Michael took advantage of the connections he had and taken String under his wing. He had even managed to connect him with SinJin. He was there when his brother insisted he get on the last chopper without him. Michael was initially coerced into putting the Firm's resources to find a man given up as missing in action. Hawke learned in recent years that Michael himself was funding the search.

Michael was that kind of man. He was loyal to a fault with his friends. Hawke was glad that he was one of the few. That was why it came to no surprise when he let David stay with him. The bond he had with the Eustice was forged in war and carried into peace time. It was that bond which blinded him to David's actions. It was further obscured by the Admiral covering his tracks.

That was why Hawke killed him and asked Rebecca to cover it up. He did not want David's execution to be on Michael's conscience. He could not let Michael have that burden to carry on his soul.

He remembered the rage when he obliterated Moffat. He knew the pain Michael was feeling was like the pain he felt when Gabrielle died in his arms. He lied to Michael, when he asked if she suffered. Though he heard relief in the man's voice, he knew that Michael didn't believe it. But he was too good an intelligence agent to do otherwise.

That was why he was relieved to see Michael when he did. Much as he was surprised to see him, after reading the files, he knew it was the right thing to do. He would not let the burden of David be on his hands. Michael was too good an agent not to know the truth. He was sure that it would stay between the two of them.

That was why he was relieved to get out of his 'prison' and go home.

He learned how to play the cello in his youth. It was the one thing he truly missed while serving his country. He never understood why his brother enlisted, but he followed him anyway. After their parents died, he needed his brother more than ever. That was why he followed him into the service. His saving grace was meeting a man who had a penchant for wearing white. A man who understood the connection between brothers.

When he reached the cabin, dawn was breaking. He did not want to frighten the eagle but he had no choice. He landed a hundred yards away from the cabin. His dog Tet came through the woods with his tail wagging.

String smiled and ran with him to the house. Everything was as he left it. The cello was in its place and much as he wanted to play, he fed Tet first. He went and touched the cello as if it were the finest silk. He picked it up lovingly and grabbed the bow. He went out onto the dock and started to play. It was his apology to the eagle and music that he had not heard in days.

He thought about Caitlin, as he played. He thought about Michael. He knew he could live with killing the bastard that had betrayed Archangel. It was the least he could do for a man who trusted him like no other. He was not about to betray him, like others had. In spite of the fact that Michael had chosen Moffat over him, he knew what their friendship meant. It took him a while but the bond had mended and grown stronger.

After playing the cello for a while, he got into the zone where all thoughts were gone from his head and he thought of nothing but the music. 

He heard the notes float of in the air and saw the eagle soar overhead. His spirit lifted and he felt the burden ease. His soul floated as the sun rose. It was this sense of peace that he could find no where else but here. The paintings his grandfather had gotten for his grandmother, the wine collection, and the solitude that he had learned to crave and appreciate. The memories echoed.

He was home.


	52. One last time?

Michael wanted nothing more than to forget what happened in the last twenty four hours. He wished he had never seen the file containing the information on the Admiral. He wanted to forget his responsibilities and just be the man who loved a woman, and who was loved back.

With each mile he was getting closer to her. He felt the burden of the day lightening. Then he remembered. He remembered what his trust in someone else had cost her. He wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms and block out the world. He wanted to bury himself within her and never let her go.

He had been at this for far too long. He had made many enemies along the way. He looked at what it cost him. Espionage was for the young. It no longer required traveling around the world and meeting in dark alleys. He laughed at the stereotypes. He remembered them from late night television. He could just see a tennis pro as a secret agent... yeah right.

He finally arrived at the beach house. The sun was slowly starting to rise. He walked toward the door and she opened it.

She was wearing the white silk robe. It was tied loosely at her waist and he saw the curves of her breasts. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

He opened the door and they embraced each other. Nothing else mattered but this. Her robe fell to the floor and she laughed.

"MIchael was it really necessary for you to shave off your mustache? What you have now tickles." she said as she drew him to her.

"You really know how to hurt a guy. Here I am wanting to be your passionate lover, and you break the spell by laughing at me." He said. The feel of her body was more special than before. He did not remember how his clothes came off or how they managed to make it to the bed. He saw a glimpse of the sun as he felt her limbs wrap around him. He gasped as he entered her and heard his moans mix with hers as they found a rhythm. It increased as they reached a new peak. He could feel her muscles tighten as she reached her climax and urged him on.

He could not help but lay for a moment with his full weight on top of her. He rolled to his side and took her with him. Her back was to his front and he could not resist but take a moment to nestle his face in the juncture where her shoulder met her neck. She reached up and caressed his head as he mouthed her flesh in the wonderful joy of afterglow. His free hand cupped each breast and played with her nipples. He found himself wanting her again and felt the same desire well within her.

"Michael what he did, what he made me do, is nothing NOTHING compared to what we have. He could never touch me the way you do. What we have is so much more than what we had when we started. It keeps getting better." she said as her hand grazed his reawakening manhood.

He turned her around to face him and kissed her. It started out slow and became more than a kiss. He held her head and gently opened to her as she did in turn to him. She felt the scars and traced them to their origins. He felt more alive than ever as a hand slipped down to her core and touched her clitoris.

She moaned and draped a leg over him, giving him access to what they both craved..

"Cait you make me feel so incredible. You make my problems so trivial. I need you in my life. I can take off my armor and let you see me warts and all. I love you and those words pale by how I feel." He said as he moved once more to possess her.

She gasped and drew him deeper into her core. She could not stop touching him. Here breasts pressed against his chest and she rode him as much as he rode her. He relished the tight feel of her and made it last longer this time. it was more of a feel of making love than having sex. He realized they were touching each others souls. He never thought such a love was possible.

He now knew what he had to do. He could not live without her here, with him and in his bed.

But there was no way in hell he could remain as head of the Firm. He had done his bit for God and country. He had paid the price, What more could he give? Cait was too high a price.

Hawke had solved the problem of David.

There was one more request he would have of him, if Cait would approve.

Cait who was here beside him. Cait who could coddle him when the need arose. Cait who had shown a thousand times over that she was just as brave as any of them. Cait who may be pregnant. Regardless of the biology, the child would be raised as a Briggs.

He realized that what remained of Archangel never made it through the door. He wanted it to stay that way. 

He found the box and saw Pearl swiping at it. He would find a collar with bling. She head butted him and he held her protectively. He loved watching Cait sleep and touched her hip. He laid down and draped an arm around her. He knew they had time enough for the important things. A weight was lifted.

He would have the time he needed. He had the patience now. His fingers found their way to her tender flesh. He shared her heat and grabbed the sheet to cover them. The sun was high in the sky, but it didn't matter. They were together. They shared a love that few could even imagine. It knew no age. It knew no idea of time. It was theirs for the taking. It developed into a need that could not help but grow.

That was the way love should be. He had finally realized what mattered. He had finally realized who mattered most of all. He sighed. He found her rhythm and matched it. He slept knowing she would be in his arms when he woke.

He was content knowing how much he loved her and was loved in return. That was all he needed... for now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This piece wrote itself. Every time I would start to write, I would get hit with a left turn.
> 
> I was all set to write an alternative ending, but then I started with Michael needing her.
> 
> My husband died in 04. He was 45 and I was 41. Muze our cat hissed at men I dated. She was smarter than I was. I would like to think my husband is smiling at the work.
> 
> Tell me what you think... Leave a comment to me at bjsa62@cox.net.
> 
> thanks for reading. I hope that Alex Cord would like it. He made Michael real in my eyes.


	53. epilog   Comes the dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me. This gnawed at me so i had to write it.

Michael woke... for a moment he thought he was dreaming. Was she really in his arms? Was this really what he was going to do? He had left Archangel at the door. Although he was Archangel, the part that lay in the bed next to this woman he felt he didn't deserve, was all Michael.

He wanted so much to take off the persona of the man in white for good. He wanted to forget or atone for those things he did for God and country... for things he wasn't proud of.

This angel had see past all that. She was the first one who looked beyond the physical... to look beyond the scars that had been placed there by a madman. How many madmen had he defeated since being recruited by the Admiral? How many people would sit in judgement over the things he had done and would forgive him.

He understood what Hawke had done. He was grateful that Hawke had taken David out of the equation. He was grateful for this chance at life... life with a sense of hope that he had never thought possible.

He was grateful for this woman, whose head was against his chest listening to his heartbeat.

He reached behind him for the box on his nightstand. Pearl looked at him from the foot of the bed and waited. He placed the diamond on her finger with the lightest touch. The ring held a diamond that was nearly flawless, but small enough so that she could wear it without the fear of it being noticed. 

She felt his kiss on her hand and woke with a smile on her face. No sooner had she pulled away, then he kissed her. The passion he felt for her increased as he felt his desire stir once more.

She pulled away.

"Michael?"

"I'm quitting. I have done my best for God and country. Marry me. Let me take care of you for the rest of my days." He said as he proceeded to stroke her skin.

She adored how he made her body feel. She had seen the ring before and knew he had spent his time picking out the stone. But, she knew how good he was at his job, and knew he had resolved the issues with David. She may not know the details, but his love making had never been so intense.

"Michael talk to me. Tell me what happened. I love the ring and what we just shared, but I know you better than you know yourself. You can't just suddenly ask me to marry you and give up something you are so good at." she said as she lay flat on her back and disconnected.

The separation of their bodies was like a splash of cold water on his face.

"Where do you want me to start? Marella came by with news of David's benefactor. I took a jet to see him. I went to Knightsbridge to speak with David. Before I got there, he hit his head and died in his cell. I came home to you and realized i want nothing more than to leave Archangel behind and become head of Briggs Industries and live a normal life." he said as he scooted up close to her and touched her again.

'

Caitlin inhaled slowly and took a few deep breaths. Inwardly she wanted to laugh at the word 'normal' but she focused on what he said.

"Who was his benefactor? How did David die? Are you sure it was an accident? What do you mean you want to resign your position? Who would take over?" she said as she felt his hand touch her in those familiar places. Much as she wanted the distraction, she wanted answers.

"You will not let me do what all those wonderful things to you until you have the answers will you. You are a stubborn delicious woman... David's benefactor is the Admiral. I saw him, and I learned more than I wanted to know. I went to see the bastard, David, and Rebecca had pronounced him dead. Hawke wanted to go home, so I loaned him a chopper and I drove home to you. That image of you at the door will linger and I realized that I have done my best for God and country. Let someone else keep the world safe. I need you for the rest of my days. Now will you please get back in my arms where you belong?" Michael said as he nestled beside her.

"Oh Michael! The Admiral? How? Why? Did he give you an answer? David is dead? I thought..." she said. She was trying to let the news sink in. His arms enfolded her and there was a part of her that wanted nothing more than to shut out the world,

?|"It turns out that David is his nephew. He has been bailing him out since Nam. I nearly hit him when he said David was sick. I listened when he said he could not risk the downfall of the Firm when he used it as an excuse for not telling me what a psychopath he was. I didn't know what to do about David, then I found out he was dead. I drove home tired. All I wanted was you. There you were and I left Archangel out the door. I love you. I want nothing more to marry you and lead a normal life as head of Briggs Industries. Marry me. Oh my darling, marry me. Let me leave Archangel where he belongs." Michael said as he kissed her.

The kiss started as gentle as a summer breeze. It deepened until they could think of nothing else but the desire that consumed them. He felt her body respond and could not find the words. He let his actions speak until they were spent once again. Until they were two sweat covered bodies laying intertwined in the afterglow of what transpired.

"Michael, who would take your place? We don't need a man like Zeus. Marella is great at holding down the fort, but she doesn't want the job. Don't you realize you have to be Archangel for a while longer. You have to groom someone for your replacement. Someone with as much integrity as you have. I can wait a year to be Mrs. Briggs Can you wear the mantel for just a year longer?" she said as she placed her head over his heart.

"Cait, are you sure? If that is what you want. I don't want you as a target. I need to keep you safe. I know you need to stay with Santini Air and do the occasional job with the Lady, but I almost lost you. I can't go through that again. You have become too important to me." he said.

"Michael I could get hit by a car tomorrow. You could stumble and lose your leg. Anything can happen... Can you really live with yourself knowing that another man like Zeus would be head of the Firm? Give them one more year. Mold someone with your values to head one of the most secret agencies in the world."

"You make it sound so important." he said.

"Michael you still have to find out what happened to Sin Jin. Besides, I happen to like seeing you in white. If you want to see me in while one more time..." she said.

"What will I do with such a stubborn bossy woman?" He said as he held her closer still.

"Love me?" she replied. She needed the contact as much as he did; She took control and straddled him.

"I could do nothing but. But only a year." he said as he reached for her lips with his. It was like tasting the sweetest wine. His hands touched her breasts and heard her moan as he played with the nipples.

Pearl was fast asleep on the corner of the bed. The ivory furball purred as the two lovers took new positions and reached new heights.

Archangel could wait outside the door for a day or two... until the Lady was needed once more.

 

finis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to those who read this piece. It was a personal journey for me. I was assaulted by a family friend in July. Ironically his name was that of our hero. If my husband were alive, he would be my hero. I let the story write itself. Once I sat down the words wrote them themselves. I had a correction here or there but the words stayed the same.
> 
> i have a question did the flow of events surprise you? For me it seemed the logical progression. Michael was the hero. 
> 
> When I married I had no idea how it would be. I know that the love became a need. In 2003 he took ill and was terminal. I could not or would not enter his room with the grief i was feeling. On the last day of his life, when he would not respond to my touch, I knew he was gone... Letting him go was the hardest thing I ever did.
> 
> I still breathe. I still feel his presence and i still ache for him.
> 
> this piece was a necessary evil. I hope it helped others. I hope it helps others. With acts of control, you have to do what you must to survive. Unfortunately you must be a victim to be a survivor. This helped me realize that i am the latter. I just wish my husband were here. I miss his arms around me and the joy we had while... He loved it when I laughed.
> 
> thanks for reading and if you have any comments I would love to hear from you...bjsa62@cox.net


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